[Roger Slater]

Looks pretty much finished to me, and excellent.

My only very small thought would be "I know to try" instead of "that I can try." Getting rid of a "that" is one reason. Another reason is that your current formulation arguably suggests that the infant knows about other spells, but for some reason cannot try them.

But what you have is fine, and the poem is great.

[Carl Copeland]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

My only very small thought would be "I know to try" instead of "that I can try." Getting rid of a "that" is one reason. Another reason is that your current formulation arguably suggests that the infant knows about other spells, but for some reason cannot try them.

That bit bugged me from the start, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I second Roger.

[David Callin]

I really like this too, Julie, and am also deeply charmed by the ending.

The only thing I think I'd like to change is "incisors". The word just doesn't seem at home in the poem. Can you find something less technical and more immediate? (I do get that it puts a ferocious light into the smiles, so it has that going for it, at least.)

Cheers

David