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  #11  
Unread 06-18-2021, 01:18 AM
Ann Drysdale's Avatar
Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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I was always intrigued by Ipsitilla. For two thousand years scholars have guessed at her identity, but poets have always known. She is simply "ipsa" et "illa" - "her","that woman", and her song has been sung for centuries, one way and another. This, for instance, was discovered among Catullus's disputed oeuvre.

From Catullus to Fabullus

re my earlier invitation…

I fear I implied if you came round to dine
You’d smell eau-de-girl - but I didn’t mean mine.
My earlier offer is not what it seems
A little bit of Lesbia? In your dreams!
You can sniff her knickers with your nine-inch nose
But that, old buddy, is as far as it goes

You will get an escort, I promise you that;
One I can summon at the drop of a hat.
I’ll book Ipsitilla; she’s a girl I’ve had.
I’ve pricked her thicket and it’s not at all bad,
She gives good head and she writes a bit of verse.
She’s my first choice when Metella has the curse.

I’ll be in God’s pocket if you do come to dine;
You bring good company and excellent wine.
I’d ask someone else but it wouldn’t be fair –
There’ll be no feast if Fabullus isn’t there.
Go on – in for a penny, in for a pound?
You’ll like Ipsitilla if you do come round.
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  #12  
Unread 06-18-2021, 03:07 AM
mignon ledgard mignon ledgard is offline
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It's that I just got bitten by the frisky mosquitoes and I'll be reading this thread. Maybe I'll learn more than something.

My parents would have loved it. My dad, for the humor and his knowledge that enhanced it. My mom, because she was the Queen of Limericks and Hot Jokes.

It's better than good, to know that political correctness can't stop the birds from flying!

Yay!
~mignon
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  #13  
Unread 06-18-2021, 11:41 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Mosquitoes, eh, Mignon? Try this one. It's from the same century as Catullus:

Bizzery zizzery
Sneaky anopheles
Afterdark predator
Bloodsucking drone
Lovely Zenophila’s
Sleeping so peacefully
Bugger off beastie and
Leave her alone

I, on the other hand
Offer you sustenance
Flesh for the feasting-on
Here, guzzler, come
I am well-used to it
During the daytime the
Lickspittle critics are
Biting my bum.

What am I thinking of?
Even a mozzie must
Fancy the warmth of a
Woman in bed
But if you go for the
Specially tasty bits
Watch it, they’re spoken-for
Try – and you’re dead.
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  #14  
Unread 06-18-2021, 12:24 PM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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C'mon Ann, your Latin is as good as mine. Probably. I won't spill the beans: there are possibly some educated Greeks present. There is nothing like a dame.
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  #15  
Unread 06-18-2021, 12:33 PM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Oh, sorry, Allen; I wasn't being cryptic. I meant to go back and name-check Meleager for the mozzie but kept getting a message to say that the Sphere was down for maintenance.
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