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  #1  
Unread 02-16-2021, 01:30 AM
Golias Golias is online now
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Default Fooling Around in Phonetics

Now in 2021
new roaring twenties being well begun,
writing iambics alone is archaic.
Our verse henceforth should be varied, mosaic.
Anyway, writing a crazy mosaic’s more fun.

In a green shade on a high hill,
or alone here by a green bay,
when Greek feet walk by, as some certainly will,
make certain that they are made welcome to stay.

“Tramp, tramp, tramp” the kids are calling.
Are we all to be hikes or bikers some day?
No, we’ll keep fueling by gassing and oiling.
Feet monosyllabic have little to say.

Last edited by Golias; 02-17-2021 at 05:50 AM. Reason: typos
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  #2  
Unread 02-17-2021, 09:55 AM
conny conny is offline
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i've come to contend with line 3.

and why not just

these roaring twenties..

i know the roaring ones were 1920's but i suspect the new 20's will
have no such prefix. these kinda works.

and the last line also falls a bit flat imo. in fact S.3 i don't
really get at all. swapping 3 and 2 may work. not sure.
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  #3  
Unread 02-17-2021, 11:53 AM
Golias Golias is online now
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Hello Conny,
L3 impiied "we" is I and many others, who, except for the occasional trochee
anapest or dactyl, which the pace or sense really called for themselves,
wrote iambs merrily on for pages and pages. I've sometimes heard it said iambic is the natural rhythm of English speech. But in 65 post-college years I've also heard it called sing-song and worse, and other rhythms favored. Its over-use is even given as a reason for decline in metric verse in favor of free or other types of what is called poetry. I don't agree with that. This piece I mean as satire. I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way to you. The last line just attempts to show the double sense of the one-syllable foot. It's short in size, but may be long in meaning .

My thanks to you for bringing up these points. A piece like this is not, of course, for publication anywhere, but only for discussion of an aspect of our craft.

Wiley (Golias)

Last edited by Golias; 02-17-2021 at 12:40 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 02-17-2021, 01:12 PM
conny conny is offline
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I think the line 5 s/b

is writing in crazy mosaic more fun?

Which sounds like a pretty good repetend to me.
and could be expanded, as could the rest.
.................................................. .............
Quote:
Originally Posted by Golias View Post
Now in 2021
new roaring twenties being well begun,
writing iambics alone is archaic.
Our verse henceforth should be varied, mosaic.
Anyway, writing a crazy mosaic’s more fun.

In a green shade on a high hill,
or alone here by a green bay,
when Greek feet walk by, as some certainly will,
make certain that they are made welcome to stay.

“Tramp, tramp, tramp” the kids are calling.
Are we all to be hikes or bikers some day?
No, we’ll keep fueling by gassing and oiling.
Feet monosyllabic have little to say.
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  #5  
Unread 02-17-2021, 02:59 PM
Golias Golias is online now
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Interesting idea, Conny.
I'll try using the line as a slightly varying repetend when the time for rewriting comes, if it ever does. Gathering Ionic minors from Marvell, Dylan Thomas, and myself for S2, and taking part of the title of the Civil War song, " Tramp,Tramp, Tramp, the boys are marching" for monosyllabic foot examples was fun indeed.. so was rhyming oiling with calling. Depends on the pronunciation of oiling.

Last edited by Golias; 02-17-2021 at 03:09 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 03-18-2021, 12:09 AM
Gena Gruz Gena Gruz is offline
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Nice concept: mosaic verse.
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