I like the edits. The change to 'domicile' works well.
I tell you what (and I think this is partly why I enjoy this poem) struck me on re-reading is how illustratable
Not just that it tells a story, but that you could weave little things back into the story (like one of Hogarth's images as a print on the walls, and a zooming in to the NYT with a relevant headline).
And you could centre the narrator/poet in an interesting way. Like the 70's animation of Paddington Bear
in style, not content, of course.
Or animation. Bit of an aside, sorry Aaron.
(Edited just to say that I am not looking for work. I have enough work and I'd never use this space to hawk my dubious wares anyway. )