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  #21  
Unread 01-29-2021, 04:59 PM
Allen Tice's Avatar
Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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Bah. And more bah.
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  #22  
Unread 05-10-2021, 11:58 PM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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Unhelpful definition of the year, from RhymeZone:

Quote:
Definitions of viviparous eelpout:
noun: an eelpout of northern Europe that is viviparous
I am not making this up.
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  #23  
Unread 05-11-2021, 10:20 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is online now
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Julie, that wouldn't be so bad, except for their definition of viviparous:
Quote:
Viviparous: Of or relating to the defining characteristic of the viviparous eelpout of northern Europe.
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  #24  
Unread 05-11-2021, 11:13 AM
Joe Crocker Joe Crocker is offline
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Or even more helpfully

Quote:
Northern Europe. That part of the European continent inhabited by the viviparous eelpout
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  #25  
Unread 11-13-2023, 12:22 AM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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retromingent
noun
obsolete
An animal that urinates backwards, such as the camel, hippo or raccoon.
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  #26  
Unread 11-13-2023, 01:32 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is online now
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Lagomorphs too, Julie.

The Defeated Hare Questions the Value of Retromingency.


Trick question: what can the hare do that the tortoise can’t?
Smart answer: urinate backwards.


It blinks as it slinks bandy-leggedly into the spotlight
To the roar of the crowd and the laurels and the champagne
And yes, you can guess at the cause of the celebration:
Hey, no shit, Sherlock – the tortoise has done it again.

I am flat on my face on the ferny floor of the forest.
I’ve been snivelling, dribbling and muttering into the moss
And wiping my eyes with my ears (and it can’t do that, either)
And telling myself that I don’t give a twopenny toss.

I ought to be used to it, given how often it happens;
It’s the way of the world and I don’t have the right to complain
But it hurts and I’m sad and I wish it were me on the rostrum.
I’m alone in the dark and the tortoise has done it again.

Omniscient Pan, who distributed gifts to your minions,
Why on earth did you give me a retrodirectional cunt,
For what is the point of the power of pissing behind me
When the tortoise is always, always, always in front?
.

Last edited by Ann Drysdale; 11-13-2023 at 01:37 AM.
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