[R. S. Gwynn]

[Revised]

Four Poets Around a Campfire

For Janice Soderling

Said Rod: “Best student that I ever had
And the most beautiful. She wore dark glasses
Even in class. Talk about perfect asses.
But nuts.” Bud added, “Yeah, that’s what’s so sad.
You want someone who loves your poetry,
But then you realize that one who does
Is just as bad as you are.” “Same for me,”
Said Mark. “My third–or was it second?–was
Obsessed that I was making fun of her
When I wrote about a tree or rock. I mean” (he
Spat hard into hot ash) “a fir’s a fir,
Granite is granite.” They grew silent then,
All slugging from tin cups while brooding Ben
Sharpened a knotty stick to stab his weenie.



Four Poets Around a Campfire

For Janice Soderling

Said Rod: “Best student that I ever had
And the most beautiful. She wore dark glasses
Even in class. Talk about perfect asses.
But nuts.” Bud added, “Yeah, that’s what’s so sad.
You want someone who loves your poetry,
But then you realize that one who does
Is just as bad as you are.” “Same for me,”
Said Mark. “My third–or was it second?–was
Obsessed that I was criticizing her
When I wrote about a rock or tree. I mean” (he
Spat hard into hot ash) “a fir’s a fir,
Granite is granite.” They grew silent then,
All staring in tin cups while thoughtful Ben
Struggled to shave a twig to hold his weenie.

[Julie Steiner]

Ah, the halcyon days when creepy male professors could always count on the administration—usually all-male—to protect the institution, and them, from the unsavory accusations of "crazy" female students!

I appreciate the punning in L14. I suspect I'd find this poem more enjoyable if I hadn't witnessed the entirely one-sided negative consequences of professors' dalliances with students, though.

[Jayne Osborn]

I can't compare Julie's unfortunate college experience with my own, as I was among a group of "mature students", by which time we'd learned not to take any shit from anyone!

When Rod switched from talking about one particular student (his best) to making a general remark about girls' "asses", it struck me as merely a forced rhyme for "glasses".

"I mean he" is an inventive rhyme for "weenie" and the ambiguity didn't escape me; it even made me chuckle. (I think you need a space before the opening bracket.)

From the title alone, there's no hint of what's to come, though... so the content surprised me. Of all the things these men could have been discussing around a camp fire, their conversation disappointed me, I'm afraid. It's not funny enough to be a humorous poem, and just sexist enough to be a bit off-putting.

Sorry I can't be more positive about this one, Sam.

Jayne

[R. Nemo Hill]

It reads to me, Sam, like an elaborate scheme to get to what I can't help suspecting was the a priori mean he/weenie rhyme.
Given the particular path it takes to get there, the poem seems no more than...how shall I put it?...a transgressive trinket.

Nemo

[Max Goodman]

gotta put something in here, but don't have anything to say

[Susan McLean]

Sam, like Max, I assume that this poem is intended as satire of the male poets and the way, in an all-male group, they talk about women. But just as it is hard to satirize racism without sounding racist because of the behavior you portray (in Huckleberry Finn, for example, which is often criticized for its language), so it is hard to satirize sexist behavior without sounding sexist. I would argue that in Twain's story, the arc of the story itself undercuts the racist attitudes that are displayed. In this poem, there is less context, so it is harder to see whether it is the "crazy" women who are being satirized or the men who see them that way. I have a strong taste for irony, so I tend to pick it up in set-ups like these (the weenie at the end felt like a tip-off to me), but even "thoughtful" Ben keeps his mouth shut when the other men are griping about women. So, I was wavering about exactly how satirical it was supposed to be, and I can see Julie and Jayne's points about why it didn't feel funny to them. I don't know if there is a good way to make the satirical intent clearer, but I think that is definitely the issue here.

Susan

[R. S. Gwynn]

If it doesn't work as satire, then it doesn't work. Maybe I went too easy on the first three guys; they have real models, and their talk was a lot worse. I can only imagine how they'd talk if they'd actually shared their experiences while roasting their weenies.