[Simon Hunt]

Thanks, Susan. I'll take a look at that line.

Thanks, Ralph. Appreciated.

[David Callin]

Simon, I agree - this is lovely.

I'm having trouble working out where the grief is coming from in S2 - did you dream of the death of the loved one, perhaps? That could do it. But, if that's it, I think you could be a little clearer about it. Maybe you think that would be pandering to the lazy reader, who ought to be able to do a bit of work him- or herself. But does that include finishing the poem for you? I wonder.

Anyway, the finished article is still very nicely made.

Cheers

David

[Simon Hunt]

Thanks, David. I guess what I'm going for there is dream-logic, where things just happen: a feeling of grief more than a narrative that produced grief. I appreciate your take on it.