[John Whitworth]

Cripes, Basil. You've got an international fan club!

[Martin Elster]

Shall I compare you to the undepressed?
You kvetch about the lightest drizzling rain
as if each drop were equal to the strain
of being stung by an entire nest
of hornets. It appears you don’t feel blest
by birds or blossoms. There must be a chain
binding the serotonin in your brain,
unmoved by stars, by love, and all the rest
that give the undepressed an utter blast.
Were you a violet, you would surely wilt
from a single drop of sunlight in a day.
You bay like a crazed hound that you weren’t built
for modern times. And yet I can’t get past
how great I feel each time we have a lay.


L12 was "You moan like Miniver that you weren’t built"

[Jayne Osborn]

Hi Martin,

I must admit I'd never heard the word 'kvetch' before, and had to look it up.
What's this - your 15th version? You're amazing; I've managed three.

I rang The Oldie today, as promised, to find out how many entries we're each allowed to submit. However, almost everyone was at 'The Oldie of the Year' awards, so I was asked to call back tomorrow, which I'll do. We'll finally have the answer to this burning question (and I hope you won't have to do too much paring!).

[Susan McLean]

Martin, you might want to rethink the "Miniver" allusion. I get the impression that even very well-known American poets are barely read in the UK. You are probably safer keeping your allusions to British poets for competitions of this sort. (I hasten to add that Americans are just as likely to be unfamiliar with major recent poets outside America, though we get exposed to major earlier British writers through our literature courses through high school (and in some college courses).

Susan

[Martin Elster]

Jayne - Thanks for calling The Oldie, even though nobody was there. Regarding 'kvetch' ... I'm wondering if I should use that word (instead of say 'whine' or 'grouse'), even though it's funny-sounding and prepares the reader for the humorous and silly tone of the ending. I really have enormous trouble paring down any list of my own poems! So, I hope they answer this "burning question."

Susan - Thanks for your thoughts about the "Miniver" allusion. I would think that non-Americans would know it, but maybe I'll have to think of something else. (How about Arbuckle?) Do you know of a British character that would be analogous? Otherwise, I'll have to change the whole metaphor.

Thanks, folks!

Martin

[Martin Elster]

Jayne,

By the way, yes, you are right, the poem above is my 15 try. Hopefully there are one or two in the bunch worth sending! I really like your driving test. It's a lot of fun.

[Jerome Betts]

Martin, I think the Miniver reference must be to Miniver Cheevy in the poem of the same name by Edward Arlington Robinson? Admittedly, it took some time for this to come back to me. I would imagine that interested Oldie readers of a certain vintage wiould have encountered him, as I did, in Geoffrey Moore's 1954 anthology The Penguin Book of Modern American Verse. It was the 1959 reprint that came my way,with poets ranging from Emily Dickinson to W.S. Merwin, though I must say that Peter Viereck's To A Sinister Potato ('O vast earth-apple waiting to be fried') made more of an impact than Miniver at the time.

Otherwise, the connotations of 'Miniver' are to some early 1940s film possibly called Mrs Miniver's Diary.

However, even if readers didn't know the EAR source, the 'like Miniver' wording would probably only cause a passing flicker of incomprehension, as the rest of the line explains itself.

If the bout rimes challenge excites as much interest generally as it has in Eratosphere, the half dozen who get a prize from this one are going to have earned it!

[Martin Elster]

Jerome,

Yes, it's Miniver Cheevy. I think you are right that 'like Miniver' might prevent the allusion from dismaying the reader too much.

If the bout rimes challenge excites as much interest generally as it has in Eratosphere, the half dozen who get a prize from this one are going to have earned it!

That's for sure!

Martin

[Jayne Osborn]

Martin,

as far as Brits are concerned, Miniver relates to Mrs Miniver, as Jerome rightly suggested. I think I may say, sticking my neck out, that here in the UK a mention of Miniver Cheevy is likely to elicit a reply of, "Who?"

Regarding 'kvetch' - I was sufficiently interested to look it up, as I hadn't heard of it before. If the judge likes the poem but doesn't know the word she'll presumably do the same! I'd leave it in, it's a great word.

Thanks for your kind comment about my 'driving test'. I've edited it as I had a tense problem with 'blast' pointed out to me (possibly by you? I can't remember), for which I was extremely grateful.

[Martin Elster]

Jayne,

It was Peter (Spindleshanks) who mentioned the tense problem with "blast." So, he is the guy to thank.

I'm glad you think I can keep "kvetch." I really didn't want to part with such a silly-sounding--but great--word. But now, I think, I'll have to replace Miniver with some other name. Oh, well ...