[Susan McLean]

Pain Management

The management has gauged how much you’ll take
before you buckle or walk out. They care
about your health—at least until you break,
use up your sick leave, or require repair.

The management endorses your retiring
early. They will help you out the door,
so that they can economize by hiring
fresh blood for half of what they paid before.

The management can't monetize your gain
in knowledge or experience. They doubt
that anything you'd do if you remain
could beat their savings if you're shunted out.

They needn't lay you off, just raise your stress
through higher workloads and adverse conditions,
until exhaustion, strain, and hopelessness
force you to leave, fulfilling their ambitions.


Revisions:
S4L1 was "They needn't fire you, just increase your stress"

[Glenn Wright]

Very effective, Susan! I like the N’s position as an impartial observer. Each of your four quatrains focuses on a specific way that corporate America insults its work force.

I was lucky enough to be able to retire when I wanted to with a defined-benefit pension. I have a lot of sympathy for younger workers, who seem to be treated more often as labor providing androids than human beings. Good job!

Glenn

[Susan McLean]

Glenn, I wasn't sure how this one would come across. It was intended as a satiric critique of how the emphasis on maximizing profit has warped the way businesses treat their workers. I've worked in private businesses, government agencies, and academia; all of them abused and exploited workers at some level, though I was most shocked by what happened when the business model was applied to education. I'm still not sure that it works as a poem, but I was glad to hear that it seemed to work for you.

Susan

[Roger Slater]

It's an unnatural effort for me to say "fire" as exactly one syllable, so the meter of that line has a bump for me. Would you consider "sack" or "can" or something like that?

The poem is well made, but doesn't really do much poem-y stuff other than use rhyme and meter. You call it a "satiric" critique, but it doesn't seem satiric to me, just a straightforward indictment of the corporate mindset as it applies to its workers.

Try sending it to the Harvard Business Review, or something like that.

[Susan McLean]

Roger, I am aware of the variation in how "fire" is pronounced. I have rewritten that line to avoid metrical confusion. The "satiric" effect of the poem has nothing to do with being funny. I hear the speaker's voice as scathingly sardonic. I think the Harvard Business Review would be one of the last journals to want to publish this. I hold the MBAs responsible for a lot of what I am describing. Their creed has trickled into all aspects of life, with devastating consequences.

Susan

[Roger Slater]

I've never read the magazine, but I wouldn't assume they're not daring enough to publish a poem that doesn't kiss corporate ass. If not them, then perhaps there are more HR-oriented magazines.

The change to the "fire" line works well.

[Susan McLean]

Roger, I haven't read the HBR either, so I don't even know whether it publishes poems. I should take a look before I decide one way or the other. "Lay you off" is more accurate than "fire you," so I am glad to have given that a second thought.

Susan

[Jim Moonan]

.
I like this, but prefer the original S4L1. "Lay you off" is not the same as "fire you". Say what you mean. Meter be damned. Allow a hiccup. Otherwise your slavish devotion to form begins to mirror corporation's slavish devotion to money : )

Employer/employee relations are an oil/water mix, whether it be a large corporation or a small business. Family-run businesses are a whole other animal. Human nature gets hijacked by greed and the bottom line.
There are companies out there whose business strategy is different than the one you describe. In my brief sojourn working for someone else vs. myself I had the good fortune of working for a large educational company that treated their employees with respect. That's the best you can hope for. Otherwise, one is better off working for oneself. But watch out! You may not be a very good employer : )

I don't think the Harvard Business Review would go so far as publish this poem. But a good business prof would do well to incorporate it in a lecture.

.

[Max Goodman]

"Grief, not grievances," Robert Frost advised. He's wrong about things, but I agree with him about this.

Light verse about a grievance like this (without the grief) might be more successful. "They care about your health" injects a note of satire. Can more (all?) of the poem be in that vein?

FWIW.

[Marshall Begel]

I read this as a caricature of corporate America—maybe not the experience of every worker, but based in enough truth that most of us can recall relatable stories.

I'm very interested in this syllable-count discussion of "fire" (and wild, style, etc). I wrote a Smokey Bear poem in which I found it impossible (for me) to completely avoid the word. Are there other ways to look at this?