[Glenn Wright]

In Book 2 of the Aeneid, Aeneas continues to tell Dido his story of the Fall of Troy. Laocoön, having tried to thwart the will of the gods by warning the Trojans that the wooden horse given to Minerva by the Greeks was a trick now receives his punishment.

https://www.museivaticani.va/content...laocoonte.html

Aeneid: Book 2, 201-233
by Publius Vergilius Maro

Laocoön, priest of Neptune, drawn by lot,
At the customary altars made a start
to kill a huge bull. Look! My body shakes
to tell it—from Tenedos, huge twin snakes,
coiling and twisting through the tranquil deep
head for shore together, chests raised, they keep
their heads high in the flood, each bloody crest
above the waves, and side-by-side, the rest
gathers behind, undulating, crashing
in the surf, eyes tinged with blood and fire, flashing;
like Python that in myths of old was sung,
they hiss and lick their mouth with quivering tongue.
We scattered, appalled at the sight: in straight advance
they sought Laocoön, their lethal dance
first paused to hug the small bodies of his two sons,
entwining, biting, devouring these wretched ones.
Next they grasped Laocoön as he came
with help and weapons, his fate would be the same;
they bound him in huge coils, and now his waist
and neck with scaly backs they twice embraced;
they overcame him with high heads and necks.
At the same time with his slippery hands he checks
and rips at the knots, his sacred headbands soaked
with gore and black venom, his horrid screams invoked
the stars: such bellows as from a wounded ox
who, fleeing the altar, shakes off the ill-aimed ax.
The paired dragons flee to the highest holy place,
gliding, they seek out fierce Minerva’s grace;
they hide beneath her feet and her round shield.
Then, truly, a new terror is revealed,
winding through the trembling hearts of all;
they report that by the worthy Laocoön’s fall,
he who harmed the sacred oak with a spear,
the debt was paid, the curse will disappear.
They shout the horse must be led to the goddess’s throne,
and they must offer prayers to her alone.
———————-
Edits:
L2: At the accustomed altars prepared himself to start > At the customary altars made a start
L16: entwining, biting, and feeding on these poor ones. >entwining, biting, devouring these wretched ones.
L29: they hide under her feet and her round shield. > they hide beneath her feet and her round shield.



Original Latin
(from Perseus Project)

Aeneid: Liber II, 201-233
Publi Vergili Maronis

Laocoön, ductus Neptuno sorte sacerdos,
sollemnis taurum ingentem mactabat ad aras.
Ecce autem gemini a Tenedo tranquilla per alta—
horrescis referens—immensis orbibus angues
incumbunt pelago, pariterque ad litora tendunt;
pectora quorum inter fluctus arrecta iubaeque
sanguineae superant undas; pars cetera pontum
pone legit, sinuatque immensa volumine terga.
Fit sonitus spumante salo; iamque arva tenebant,
ardentisque oculos suffecti sanguine et igni,
sibilant lambebant linguis vibrantibus ora.
Diffugimus visu exsangues: illi agmine certo
Laocoönta petunt; et primum parva duorum
corpora natorum serpens amplexus uterque
implicat, et miseros morsu depascitur artus;
post ipsum auxilio subeuntem ac tela ferentem
corripiunt, spirisque ligant ingentibus, et iam
bis medium amplexi, bis collo squamea circum
terga dati, superant capite et cervicibus altis.
Ille simul manibus tendit divellere nodos,
perfusus sanie vittas atroque veneno,
clamores simul horrendos ad sidera tollit:
quales mugitus, fugit cum saucius aram
taurus, et incertam excussit cervice securim.
At gemini lapsu delubra ad summa dracones
effugiunt saevaeque petunt Tritonidis arcem,
sub pedibusque deae clipeique sub orbe teguntur.
Tum vero tremefacta novus per pectora cunctis
insinuat pavor, et scelus expendisse merentem
Laocoönta ferunt, sacrum qui cuspide robur
laeserit, et tergo sceleratam intorserit hastam.
Ducendum ad sedes simulacrum orandaque divae
numina conclamant. . . .


Crib:
Laocoön, a priest of Neptune drawn by lot,
Was sacrificing a huge bull at the customary altars.
But look! From Tenedos through the tranquil deep—
I shudder telling it—twin snakes in huge coils
recline on the ocean, and side-by-side, stretch out toward the shores,
whose chests were raised among the floods and whose bloody crests
conquered the waves; the remaining part gathers the ocean behind,
and undulates the huge backs’ scrolling coil.
A crash is made with foaming surf; and now they were holding their course/field,
their eyes burning and tinged with blood and fire,
they hiss and lick their mouths with quivering tongues.
We scattered, pale at the sight: in a straight advance
they sought Laocoön, and first a serpent having embraced
the small bodies of the two sons, entwined itself between each
and feeds upon their poor limbs by biting;
Afterwards, they grasp Laocoön himself, going down to help and bearing weapons,
and bind him in huge coils, and now,
having encircled his waist twice, having given their scaly backs
to his neck twice, they overcome him with their head and long necks.
At the same time, he stretches to tear the knots with his hands,
having his sacred headbands drenched with gore and black venom;
at the same time he raises horrendous shouts to the stars,
such bellowing as when the wounded bull flees the altar
and shakes the poorly aimed ax from his neck.
But the twin dragons escape, gliding to the highest temple
and seek the citadel of the fierce one born at Lake Triton [Minerva],
and hide beneath the goddess’s feet and under the circle of her shield.
Then, truly, a new dread for all twined through the trembling hearts,
and they report deserving Laocoön to have paid for the crime,
who would have offended the sacred oak with his spear point,
and who would have hurled the guilty spear into its [the wooden horse’s] back.
They shout that they must lead the simulacrum [the wooden horse] to the throne
and that they must pray to the divine powers of the goddess.

[Carl Copeland]

Glenn, I think this is even better than your last excerpt from the Aeneid. The passage with the snakes coming ashore (L4-L12) is especially breathless and menacing and beautiful. The translation seems accurate too, though you’ve made two significant additions. The first, the Python line, sounds like something Virgil might have written, so I won’t complain. The second, “the curse will disappear,” is a little more problematic. I’d expect a more specific verb like “lifted,” so “disappear” comes out sounding rhyme-driven. Also, was there a curse, and who was affected? If only Laocoön, wouldn’t it obviously have disappeared with his death?

A few more thoughts:

You can prepare to kill, and you can start to kill if the killing will take a while, but “preparing to start to kill” is too fine a distinction for me.

I have trouble forcing an iamb out of “poor ones,” so that too sounds rhyme-driven.

“They” at the start of L21 should be lowercased.

“Fleeing the altar” should have commas around it.

“Under” in L29 is ok, but I wonder why you chose a trochee over the iambic “beneath” and “below.”

L31 should end with a semicolon or period.

My last nit should probably be addressed to Virgil, since you seem to have translated accurately: it sounds as if Laocoön escaped, like the fleeing ox, and the dragons then sought protection from him at Minerva’s shrine. Otherwise, what were they fleeing and hiding from?

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Carl—

Thanks for all the time and thought you put into your comments. Your encouragement is really helping me to figure out this translation process.

Glenn

Originally Posted by Carl Copeland

The translation seems accurate too, though you’ve made two significant additions. The first, the Python line, sounds like something Virgil might have written, so I won’t complain. This is the one I was worried about. There is really nothing in the original to support it.

The second, “the curse will disappear,” is a little more problematic. I’d expect a more specific verb like “lifted,” so “disappear” comes out sounding rhyme-driven. Also, was there a curse, and who was affected? If only Laocoön, wouldn’t it obviously have disappeared with his death? The curse, occasioned by Paris choosing to give Eris’s apple to Venus, is the Greek invasion and the Trojan War. The Trojans are interpreting the Greeks’ gift of the horse as a peace offering. They believe the Greeks have sailed home. In fact, the Greeks hid their fleet behind the island of Tenedos, from whence the twin sea serpents come.


You can prepare to kill, and you can start to kill if the killing will take a while, but “preparing to start to kill” is too fine a distinction for me. I fixed this.

I have trouble forcing an iamb out of “poor ones,” so that too sounds rhyme-driven. Fixed.

“They” at the start of L21 should be lowercased. Done.

“Fleeing the altar” should have commas around it. Done.

“Under” in L29 is ok, but I wonder why you chose a trochee over the iambic “beneath” and “below.” Fixed.

L31 should end with a semicolon or period. Fixed.

My last nit should probably be addressed to Virgil, since you seem to have translated accurately: it sounds as if Laocoön escaped, like the fleeing ox, and the dragons then sought protection from him at Minerva’s shrine. Otherwise, what were they fleeing and hiding from? Interestingly, Vergil does not record the actual death of Laocoön, but rather moves the camera to the serpents’ destination at the temple of Minerva on the Trojan acropolis. I think we are supposed to conclude that by killing a priest of Neptune, the serpents have committed sacrilege and thus are fleeing to Minerva, Neptune’s adversary, for protection. Laocoön’s death, or “fall” is mentioned in line 32.