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  #1  
Unread 09-15-2021, 04:23 PM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
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Default the silent frequency of leaves

This is a collaborative vispo/multi-media poem - Jesse Anger & Sarah-Jane Crowson.

Latest revision:

https://sarah-janecrowson.com/collaboration/displaced/


Key changes:
- addition of audio loop
- further slowing, this time focussed on the end of the piece
- longer fade-in/fade-out

Key changes:

removal of timepiece image
addition of fade-in/fade-out to black
slowed animation by 50%
clouds animated/moving
word-level changes, from 'flame' to 'displaced', removal of 'iridescence', blurring of 'silent' to make it a half-erased word.




Sarah-Jane
the silent frequency of leaves"]previous version here[/url]

Last edited by Sarah-Jane Crowson; 09-21-2021 at 02:47 PM.
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  #2  
Unread 09-16-2021, 12:47 PM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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Sarah-Jane. We are on (or are near) the cusp of another way of writing poetry. Actually in all forms of the arts. Now a poet who has a skill set that includes audio and visual technological expertise can write with added sensory animation using tools that are literally at their fingertips. Now a busker on a street corner can sound like an orchestra.

This is a surreal, beautiful piece of art. At times underwater, at times in the clouds, with images floating in and out of view, colors undulating, light coming and going — all in concert with the words that appear and disappear in a suggestive, intoxicating way. I love it.
I don’t know if everyone is ready for this leap into multi-sensory/3-dimensional poetry, but I am. I don’t know that I will ever develop the skill set to write vispo, but I welcome it into my world of imagination.

I wish there was audio to it. Maybe a single modulating note played by a combination of strings and piano. Or perhaps nature sounds like sea waves washing ashore, rolling distant thunder, seagulls singing at a distance, ebbing and flowing, all of it in sync.

Why do you title the thread “The Silent Frequency of Leaves”? The vispo is entitled “Iridescence". (I do like the play on the word "Leaves")

.
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  #3  
Unread 09-16-2021, 01:01 PM
Jesse Anger Jesse Anger is offline
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Yup, this works - I hear a wet pad under a single note on piano throughout. I think that the font isn't quite right, though. It's too, idk, fusty? It feels like a greeting card font. I'd like something more internet, digital, glitching and degraded.

Vispo, eh? Pretty cool.

J

editing in to say that I could easily make those sounds for you if you want hmu - gratis, obvi.

editing in again, lol, could you use letters cut out from mags or papers, that would be fire! not sure what software you're using, but scanning a bunch of letters in might be just the thing.

whole thing has me interested

Last edited by Jesse Anger; 09-16-2021 at 01:13 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 09-16-2021, 03:12 PM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
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Thank you so much, Jim and Jesse,

Jim, thank you so much - your openness and thoughts on the possible are really welcome. It's weird, because there's a technical skillset to making animations - craftsmanship even, maybe - that perhaps echoes really early poetic forms, like scratching words on pottery, the words on a three-dimensional form or drawing on a cave wall. It's not like making zines, although because this kind of poetry is situated in the vispo narrative I think it frequently gets read through that lens. It's a painstaking process to make them, involving more logical than 'creative' thought, for me, at least. I'm no expert, though. If you play with the software, unworried, you'll develop the skillset, I promise. I've only just worked out enough of after-effects (the name of the software package) to feel properly in control of it but if I can do it, you certainly can!

Yes, I agree with you about audio - sounds/music are my Achilles heel. I did try with another experiment but it just sounded awful. Like lift music.

With the title, I wanted the sense of iridescence (a very lovely forum member has pointed out in a sensitive PM that I have a spelling error there, which I own as an error) to kind of shade the sense of the words, like the inside of history/time/the inside of a seashell. To permeate rather than lead. Eek, that sounds really pretentious! Like it's in the leaving (I'm glad you liked the play on words) that we find we come alive, and iridescence is a kind of wordflame.

In my head the shorthand title is 'iridescence' but I don't want to title the poem that quite yet. Mind you, I don't think the current title is right either. I'll keep thinking.

Jesse - thank you, and very good thoughts about the font. Making these is like trying to stuff an octopus in a jamjar. Trying to avoid a greeting card vibe is a constant battle. I've used kind of 'mock cut-outs' before as a workaround, but although they work visually, they feel ethically 'wrong' too - as if I'm conning people that this is found poetry when it isn't. I like your thoughts about the more 'zine' style single words, and I think that using this would go down really, really well with editors, but again I worry because then I'm abusing/using that kind of punk ethos and making it a simulacra - I respect the punk ethos enough to not want to do that.

It's a thing - a problem space for me. After reading your comment I've thought about maybe; doing a kind of scratch-effect words so that they are scored into the background like on classical pottery, using hand-writing for the text, or maybe cutting words out of an existing piece of text, overlaying letters made of a chunk of text. Aaargh.

if you are seriously up for doing sound, then collaboration would be amazing - dual credit, though - not gratis favour, if you were happy to co-own the outcome. Maybe PM, see what sounds you'd want to put to the images, send me an audio file, we'll put them together and we'd send out as a collab, co-authored piece if that works for you?

I talk too much!

Sarah-Jane
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  #5  
Unread 09-16-2021, 04:32 PM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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The sound, for example, could be a single major chord like this. that opens the vispo and sustains throughout, then fades to end (I think the loop is a great way to help the viewer ruminate, but also think there needs to be an end where everything finally fades (to black?)


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  #6  
Unread 09-16-2021, 05:06 PM
Jesse Anger Jesse Anger is offline
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I think the looping is essential and is what makes the thing so haunted feeling - the loop never stops of it's own accord, that's on the viewer.

I saw the national play sorrow over and over for 5 hours at the musee des beaux arts - it was crazy. But yeah, loops are very contemporary in music, especially ambient music. Here's one of the greatest ever...

Anyhow, I love this vispo with a looping score idea - it's new, fresh, and super cool.

J
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  #7  
Unread 09-16-2021, 06:03 PM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Hi Sarah-Jane,
I hope you don't mind a dissenting voice; I find the animation distracts me--I just keep trying to hold on to the words, and before they can resonate, they fade. Perhaps it is just too fast for my aged mind. I think I would just like to read the poem like a haiku.

If you want to stay with the animation, for me the images don't change that much, and don't really connect to the words; if they showed a wider palette, it might be more interesting. Finally, the looping might work better if it wasn't an abrupt restart each time, but the ending blended more smoothly into the beginning.

Thank you for the experience!
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  #8  
Unread 09-16-2021, 08:45 PM
John Riley John Riley is offline
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The clip is beautiful. I like that the cloud makes me feel as though it keeps moving and opening when the clip is over. The compass is my least favorite part but I'm not saying change it. I just like the empty cloud there, like an open mouth. I don't like the words as much as the image. The word "leaves" is curious. When I think of green leaves I think of Wordsworth, etc. When I think of fall leaves I hear pop and jazz songs. The point is both ways of thinking about leaves are full. When "leaves" is used as anything but a specific noun--The leaves turned in the wind--I hear Sinatra. I hope that makes sense. I do like the play on "latch/unlatch," which is thematic, I guess, but overall I wish the poem had more impact on me. I'm not trying to "woodchop" your poem. I'm trying to articulate my impression, which is I think it's beautiful but maybe a little unbalanced.

Best
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  #9  
Unread 09-17-2021, 04:03 AM
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Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
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Thanks all,

Jesse - that music/image clip is beautiful - I love the way that the music echoes the birds, and the sense of endlessness, the traffic, human and avian movement.

Martin - thank you and I don't mind a dissenting voice one tiny bit. Your thoughts are very sound and very welcome. I'm at the start of exploration with this one (although, just to clarify, in case anyone is concerned, this isn't the first draft - it's just I can't take it any further on my own). I'm someone who works better with dialogue & critical feedback.

I did worry about the speed, and also about the background being a bit 'busy' (I'm a decorative person, I like patterns far too much) so, my current editing plan is to:

slow it down
remove some of the decoration from the background and have the clouds transform and move a little more (Jesse's video has inspired me, too)
sort out the looping so it's a bit gentler, perhaps with a fade-out to all dark


John - thank you, that is very helpful. I'm here to improve the poem, and your thoughts will help me do that. Martin mentioned haiku, and it might be that I have too many words.

It takes a while to edit these things, but it's very helpful indeed to have this intelligent and perceptive steer as a starting point (and even better to have found a collaborator).

Onward!

Sarah-Jane
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  #10  
Unread 09-17-2021, 05:52 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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Jesse, Interesting clip of the murmuration and the music accompaniment. Andrew Frisardi workshopped a poem here a couple of years ago about a starling murmuration he saw undulating above a train station. It was such a visual-rich poem.

Sarah-Jane, as I recall you started a discussion on one of the boards recently about the process of writing poetry using more than just words lined up on a page (vispo?) I think the words are still paramount if it is to take root as a "next generation" form of poetry. Too much of a leap might be good from a pure artistic standpoint, but if you are trying to evolve poetry as an art form, my opinion is you must leave enough crumbs for readers to make the journey from paged poetry to vispo without getting lost. That's why I like the idea of a looped vispo but with it coming to an end, with a flourish or a fade, so that the vispo has a beginning, middle and end with enough looping (and variations) so that it allows the reader/viewer to slow down and see deeper, but eventually it ends. Like all things.

Just to digress a moment, what if someone were commissioned by the Hand of Able Muse to collaborate with poets to take every poem that is currently on non-met and transform it into a vispo — what would they look like? Sound like? I love the thought that every poem could be manifested as a vispo. That would be something.

I think Martin makes some very astute points.

.
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