[Matt Q]

John, Mignon and Jim,

Many thanks.

John,

I've taken "that served as their shelter" out.

Still not 100% sure if I prefer it. I think what's troubling me is "camp", which suggests a temporary location, and "cave" which is permanent. And I wonder if it's 100% clear now if the cave is in their camp or not. Though, on reflection, perhaps that doesn't matter.

Mignon,

Thanks for your suggestions. I've taken "just" out before "as easily ..." and added the missing "from" to the clothing line.

In P2, I'm assuming he has to chew the berries.

In P3, I'd say "who" is right. It refers to the subject of the clause, "all", so it's accusative rather than dative.

P4, I removed the full stop after the spoken text in P4&5. You're right it shouldn't be there. I think the commas you're suggesting after "Then," are optional, though, and I think I prefer them without.

Jim

Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad that it works for you, and the intention of the close comes across. I hoped it would come across without being spelled out.

thanks again all,

Matt