Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 04-04-2021, 07:47 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 8,955
Default Rilke, Eastern Aubade

Eastern Aubade
by Rainer Maria Rilke

Isn’t this bed we lie in like a coast,
merely a stretch of coast on which we sprawl?
Nothing is sure except for your high breasts,
which overwhelm my senses till they reel.

Because this night, in which so much screamed out,
in which beasts cried and tore at one another,
isn’t it dire and strange to us? And yet,
what’s slowly rising up, called day, out there—
is that more comprehensible than it?

We’d have to lie like petals intertwined
around the stamen: so ubiquitous,
so overwhelming is the unrestrained,
which gathers force and hurtles down on us.

Yet while we press together, not to see
the way it’s closing in around us two,
it may flash out of me, flash out of you:
because our souls survive by treachery.


Revisions:
S1L2 "on which we sprawl" was "we're lying on"
S1L4 was "which send my senses reeling, like a swoon."


Östliches Taglied

Ist dieses Bette nicht wie eine Küste,
ein Küstenstreifen nur, darauf wir liegen?
Nichts ist gewiss als deine hohen Brüste,
die mein Gefühl in Schwindeln überstiegen.

Denn diese Nacht, in der so vieles schrie,
in der sich Tiere rufen und zerreißen,
ist sie uns nicht entsetzlich fremd? Und wie:
was draußen langsam anhebt, Tag geheißen,
ist das uns denn verständlicher als sie?

Man müsste so sich ineinanderlegen
wie Blütenblätter um die Staubgefäße:
so sehr ist überall das Ungemäße
und häuft sich an und stürzt sich uns entgegen.

Doch während wir uns aneinander drücken,
um nicht zu sehen, wie es ringsum naht,
kann es aus dir, kann es aus mir sich zücken:
denn unsre Seelen leben von Verrat.


Literal translation:
Eastern Aubade

Is this bed not like a coast,
just a stretch of coast on which we lie?
Nothing is certain except your high breasts,
which go beyond my senses into dizziness.

Because this night, in which so much screamed out,
in which beasts cried out and tore each other,
is it not appallingly strange to us? And yet,
what slowly rises up outside, called day,
is that then more understandable to us than it?

We’d have to lie down intertwined thus,
like flower petals around the stamen:
so great everywhere is the unrestrained,
and it accumulates and rushes toward us.

Yet while we press against one another
so as not to see how it draws closer all around,
it may flash out from you, flash out from me:
for our souls live on treachery.

Last edited by Susan McLean; 04-04-2021 at 07:06 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 04-04-2021, 03:45 PM
mignon ledgard mignon ledgard is online now
New Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Florida
Posts: 25
Default

Dear Susan, I can't stop to read now, but I have been following your translations of Rilke's poems with interest and admiration. I like your approach to translations, too.
Thank you for your graceful offerings. ~mignon
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,165
Total Threads: 20,554
Total Posts: 260,901
There are 177 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online