Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 08-05-2021, 05:31 AM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,339
Default tenterhooks



Visual poem/erasure poem and collage using paper and digital techniques. Images sourced from a contemporary fashion magazine, Wood and Sowerby (1859) The common objects of the sea shore : including hints for an aquarium and an amazing illustration, I'd guess mid (19, showing the open mouths of birds.

Hi-res image and some variations here. If anyone gets a chance to look I'd appreciate feedback on which they think work best as I don't think I've quite realised the colour and shades in this yet.

Placing in art because this is probably more art than poem but the words matter too.

Sarah-Jane
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 08-05-2021, 02:55 PM
John Riley John Riley is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,350
Default

I used the link and think I prefer the brightest. The last one in the column. It's more medieval, I think, more detached because the body is free of the darker colors, and for me that works best. I'm still working on how I feel about "soft" but the rest of the test is precise and suggestive. Best.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Unread 08-05-2021, 03:15 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,512
Default

Hi Sarah-Jane,

Is that pen nibs? And insect wings, and all kinds of hair? I like it a good deal, taken as is with my bewilderment a part of that, and I love your quote. I get a small frisson!
If I had a suggestion it would be that I find what I take is three sets of hair confusing...

Cheers,
John
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Unread 08-05-2021, 03:23 PM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,339
Default

Oh, wow, thank you both. I was beginning to think I'd be sitting down here solitary. Have some mint tea. I promise it's not hairy.

John R, that's the one I'm torn between - it's an earlier version but I like the luminosity of it. Also your concern about 'soft' echoes my own thoughts. That's really helpful. It's difficult with this kind of composite erasure. I can lose 'soft' though.

John I, no, not pen nibs, they're the mouths of birds from the illustration. It's a completely wonderful source material. I probably need to do it more justice than I have here tbh. Also the sonics in 'mouths of birds' is just oooh, too. Yes, about four types of hair, all part of the original hand-collage version. I'll have a think about what to do about that...

Onward! (thank you)

Sarah-Jane
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Unread 08-05-2021, 03:54 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,512
Default

I think it's always a gamble posting in some less trafficked threads. I would feel entirely justified in noting the work in more-frequented venues if it were mine. In your Met thread, for instance.

Cheers,
John

PS I really do see pen nibs there! And lots of hair, a bit like Shiva Nataraja. He's a personal fave: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nataraja
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 08-05-2021, 05:25 PM
F.F. Teague's Avatar
F.F. Teague F.F. Teague is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 1,767
Default

Hi Sarah-Jane,

This is pretty intriguing; and I enjoyed looking at the variations too. My impulse is to prefer the lightest tones, but that might not be the best fit with 'in the deep', I suppose. The woman seems entirely at ease with being swept away, which I like as it makes me feel at ease with the image. I like the fanned objects and the colours across all the variations. It's quite transporting, like a dream :-)

Best wishes,
Fliss
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Unread 08-06-2021, 05:25 AM
Clive Watkins Clive Watkins is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 2,462
Default

A striking image, Sarah-Jane… Of the versions at the link, I prefer the one that seems to be in mid-tones. The lightest is for me rather too stark, though it is clear from it that what in the darker versions do look a bit like pen-nibs are indeed the beaks of birds.

I do have a small cavil. It concerns “tenterhooks”. To be on tenterhooks is to be in a painful state of suspense or expectation, but, as Fliss has pointed out, the woman “seems entirely at ease with being swept away”.

I have another, very local problem—which no doubt will bother no one else at all. From the window of the room I am writing in I can see beyond our garden a late-eighteenth-century weaver’s cottage with its characteristic row of north-facing first-floor windows which, in the heyday of handloom weaving, would have housed perhaps two looms on which wool from sheep pastured on the moors above the village was woven into worsted. Indeed, until about ten years ago our daughter lived in just such a cottage in a village about four miles from here. A key feature of this cottage industry was the tenter-field, where the woven cloth was stretched out to dry on wooden frames called tenters. It was attached to the frame by rows of hooks on its upper and lower rails—the so-called tenterhooks. The plot on which our house stands was used in that period for just this purpose. What is more, I could take you to a number of locations in these parts which incorporate in their name the word “tenter-field”. As I say, this is for me a local problem—but, as you also note in your post, “the words matter too”.

Good luck with this!

Clive
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Unread 08-06-2021, 06:21 AM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,339
Default

John and Fliss, thank you so much.

Clive - thank you - that's brilliant and helpful. I love the tenter-field and those real, material, tenterhooks and I think it's important. I can place them somewhere in the image - add an allusion. It's also interesting - thank you for taking the time to explain.

I agree, too, that there's a kind of dissonance between the idea of tenterhooks and the floating woman. That is a trickier thing, but I agree it needs addressing. An obvious way would be to give her a different head, or a mask, but I think instead I need to find a way to explain the dissonance.

That's a challenge, but a good one. I'll have a think.

Sarah-Jane
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 08-06-2021, 06:41 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,512
Default

Hi Sarah-Jane,

I’ve been enjoying your tenterhooks discussion. It would be nice to make them concrete, though as a non-artist I’m concerned it could get busy or cluttered.

I like her dress! Could it be a muslin nightdress, for the dreams, like Sendak’s In the Night Kitchen?

Cheers,
John
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Unread 08-07-2021, 06:47 AM
Sarah-Jane Crowson's Avatar
Sarah-Jane Crowson Sarah-Jane Crowson is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,339
Default

Thanks John,

I will have a think about her dress. For now, here's a revision which declutters a bit (I agree with you that it was getting a bit busy), situates her in the tenter field, with a few images of real tenter hooks.

I've masked her, made her more of a thing of the landscape. Not sure if this works but it is fun trying.

And that is my time to play over and done. I need to write 2000 words of PhD today. I have coffee.



Hi-res version here.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,261
Total Threads: 21,300
Total Posts: 269,091
There are 164 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online