[Jim Ramsey]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

You might want to lean into the Shakespeare a bit more. The poem made me think of another line in Hamlet, "I could be bound in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams." Maybe call the poem "Bound in a Nutshell"? I think it would make the ending seem like more than just a throwaway reference, and it would tell us what it is that the thought "slips past."

Hi Roger,

I like your idea. I started my own list of possible titles to consider. Two of them are from Shakespeare but as segments of larger quotes do not work well like your suggestion does. I will gladly use it. If you want it back though, I will understand. Here is the list I was making. It sucked, so thanks.

Infinite Wisdom
Cogito, Ergo Sum
Never to Heaven Go
To Entertain a Thought
Search and Rescue
Fade to Black
The Itinerant
A Loose Itinerary
A Travelogue
A Question of Transience
Out of Mind
Rational Discourse
Dance of the Dendrites
Docking Station
Lightyears Away
Rescue Mission
A Matter of Gravity
But Thinking Makes It So
Off Course, Off Grid, Off Id
Before You Leap
All Thinks Big and Small
A Sucking Sound
The Void
The Vortex
Out of Orbit
Completing the Circuit
Boundaries
Pathways
Booking the Return Trip

[Hilary Biehl]

I feel similarly to Nemo. I tend to like shorter poems, and I've tried to like this one, but it feels too slight to me in its substance.

[Nick McRae]

Originally Posted by Jim Ramsey

Hi Nemo,

I appreciate hearing your take. In a way I wish I had never explained so much of my own thought processes behind this poem so that I could be confident it was being judged strictly on its merits. Fortunately there were some good responses before I ever got involved in commenting. I try to keep pride or bias from coloring my take on what is good or bad. I also hope to be practical. If some readers like a poem, then some editors might too. I'll settle for the imperfect poem that gets published over those that do not. As you know, I've disagreed with your take on poems posted here before. I won't argue you're wrong here. But I will argue how long I took to write the poem says nothing about its merits. Whether I've poked fun at poetic pedantry in the past does not mean I always do. I will resist critting the crit, but really... "borrowed profundity" "return to haunt me" "pared down to their essentially mysterious core." I think you're off your game.

IMO, there's a question there of what kind of poem you're trying to write. Some poems are blockbuster, haunting pieces, others are subdued and light. It's ok for a poem to be one or the other, not everything we write has to bring the house down.

And particularly so if you've ever tried to build an entire collection of poems for a book. Try writing eighty haunting poems and I'll give you a lifetime. Or at least half a decade or so.

That being said I agree with Nemo in that this poem could be more, but I disagree in the sense that it doesn't have to be more. I just wouldn't recommend writing eighty of these for a book.

[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Nick,

Yes. I agree. Not every poem can be great, or should be required to be great to be worthy of reading. I once commented on the sphere that if we took away the ten most anthologized poems of each of the world's best known poets, we probably would never have heard of them and I actually believe that. I don't mind crits that tell me my work is not great. I've also said on the sphere a couple of times that I am still waiting to write that first one of my own that I would consider great. I don't gamble much, but I wouldn't bet that I ever will write it. Thanks for commenting.

Hi Hilary,

Your vote is in and noted. Thanks for commenting.

[Jan Iwaszkiewicz]

Philosophical candy floss Jim.

[Alessio Boni]

Hi,

It's a bit of a late reply, but the very first interpretation I got, after reading the verses, "A thought slips past, and clutters space" was the incessant amount of inspiratory ideals (a thought) a poet might receive for writing any sort of verse, but simply as a passing of the moment. And if he were not to cultivate such and act on it during the moment the thought or theme might hit his mind, but would instead keep it for later, subjecting it to a waiting room within his mind (the "Space"), which eventually would see the cluttering of itself with an influx of these so called inspirations being thrown in, his mind would be so disordered that the poet would not be able to extract such ideals for use.

I do confess however, that this was just my alternate interpretation of the poem, specifically those two verses, and nothing to do with the actual meaning behind this poem which the others have already talked about.

Nevertheless, I thought of sharing it with you, not as a critique, but as a simple comment.

Cheers!

[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Alessio,

Thanks for sharing your interesting take on this. When I think about it, all of my poetry probably has some element in it of exploring the art within the art. And yes, this one has had its moment at the top of the board and it's time for it to rest and have comments bump newer pieces ahead of it.

Jim