[W T Clark]

A wonderful poem: but I am jostled by the mismatch between the title and the first line. Is it a simile: exposing the bare joints of poetic cleaving, or does it have the confident, masculine solidity of metaphor. Is it the intriguing humanness of "someone's udder", or the again the logical normality of "swollen udder". I think these differences are important; a simile is a different frequency to a metaphor, and I would not be brave enough to freely translate one to another.

Hope this helps.

[Carl Copeland]

Originally Posted by W T Clark

A wonderful poem: but I am jostled by the mismatch between the title and the first line. Is it a simile: exposing the bare joints of poetic cleaving, or does it have the confident, masculine solidity of metaphor. Is it the intriguing humanness of "someone's udder", or the again the logical normality of "swollen udder". I think these differences are important; a simile is a different frequency to a metaphor, and I would not be brave enough to freely translate one to another.

I thought you’d like this one, Cameron, and “red breath” is a hint that Mandelstam did as well.

The poem is actually untitled, but your point is well taken. It’s a simile in the original, but an extended one, with “spurts” of sunshine making up the sky’s “noonday yield,” and that hopefully justifies a metaphor. Even so, I would have stuck to the simile, but Julie convinced me that “someone’s” is too human. The Russian is neutral, and since udders normally belong to animals, that would be the natural understanding. She suggested “a sort of udder,” which sounded too tentative to me, so I improvised with “swollen.” You’ve helped me think this through, Cameron, and that always helps. Thanks!

P.S. I love the autoantonym “cleaving”!