[Jayne Osborn]

Some of you are aware that I had a very nasty fall recently, of the "face-planting" kind, while I was on holiday in Ireland. I had to have stitches inside and outside my bottom lip, and to a deep gash near one eyebrow. This poem was sort of cathartic to write, but I didn't want to post it on the Metrical board for general critique. Instead, you can reply to it in rhyme (and if you feel so inclined, tell me to "get over myself." )

I know my friends are only being kind:
“You’re far more conscious of it than we are,”
but even so, it’s playing on my mind
that they pretend they haven’t seen the scar.
It’s prominent enough – at least to me;
I think it’s quite impossible to miss,
but everyone says, “Oh, I didn’t see
it till you mentioned it.” They think that this
is what I want to hear; not quite the case.
In actual fact, it sometimes makes me cry
that I’ve sustained this damage to my face.
(I’m sorry for myself, I can’t deny.)
Although the scar’s not huge, it will remain,
and so I ask: Am I just being vain?

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Jayne—

I am so sorry and distraught to hear
about your most unpleasant souvenir.
I hope you can embroider us a story
to give your war wounds honor, fame, and glory.
Or, if the tale’s embarrassing to tell,
have a pint and bid us go to Cork.

Hope you feel better soon!

Glenn

[Roger Slater]

Ouch!



There once was a woman named Jayne
Who fell on her face! Oh the pain!
She wrote in a sonnet,
"I shouldn't have done it,
Because there's a scar and I'm vain."

[Jayne Osborn]

Haha, Glenn, thanks for that!
After a week of drinking through a straw, and eating only yogurt and very soft, scrambled eggs, I've been back on solids for a while. I was very 'down', but I'm feeling much more cheerful now.

I liked the little joke you made, by writing Cork, instead of Hell,
but it was Belfast, I’m afraid, where I embarrassingly fell.
To head-butt solid ground’s not good; it leaves an awful lot of blood,
but though I badly smashed my face, I’ve just been back. I love the place!

Thanks again.
Jayne

[Jayne Osborn]

That's excellent, Bob. It was horrendous at the time, but it's easier to see the funny side after a while!

Thanks for cheering me up.

Jayne

[Jayne Osborn]

I hurt myself, which made me sob
uncontrollably. What a good job
that, at last I am feeling
much better. I’m healing,
and cheered up by poets like Bob.

[Richard G]

.
Now, I'm not one for gossip, but
this latest morsel, it's a good 'un.
Jayne she took a trip to Belfast
(nudge nudge wink wink) ... fallen woman.
.

[Matt Q]

Go forward, go forward bold leader!
Well she knows she's in charge and we need her,
she falls forward with grace,
and she leads with her face,
just to prove she's our number one bleeder!

[Chris O'Carroll]

We raise a health to our friend Jayne,
Wishing her body free of pain,
And her blithe spirit un-deranged
Despite her face being re-arranged.
To give hurt feelings some protection,
I offer this heartfelt reflection:
No matter what scars people see
On her, she’s prettier than me.
(Admittedly, that standard’s low.
I had to go with what I know.)

[Jayne Osborn]

Richard, Matt and Chris,

Thank you SO much for making me laugh.
As you know, I don't do things by half.
My unfortunate trip
meant I damaged my lip,
so I'll cover the scar with a scar-f.

I'm thankful it's not commonplace-
falling over and busting my face,
but I'm really glad
it wasn't as bad
as if I had fallen from grace!

But seriously, I'm grateful to you all for your wit and great humour. It's doing wonders for my recovery.

Jayne