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  #21  
Unread 05-07-2025, 11:33 AM
Richard G Richard G is offline
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Hi Alex,

yes, tempt works well, though tempts a bit less so (or maybe it's just me?)

RG
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  #22  
Unread 05-09-2025, 12:33 PM
Alex Pepple Alex Pepple is offline
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Hello Richard,

I'm glad that "tempt" works for you ... even if on the other side, "tempts" is not quite there. I think I found something that might be an improvement, "lure"/"lures" -- which goes better with "tide" imagery.

Cheers,
...Alex
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  #23  
Unread 05-10-2025, 12:39 PM
Alessio Boni Alessio Boni is offline
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Hello!

I especially enjoyed the first image the poem emits, although I genuinely wonder if there is any correlation between the vestment of grandeur (silk) and the almost squalid thought of revisiting past regrets or chances as is seen by the brief acquaintance with the dame illumed by the lobby light, and shortly shunned thereafter to avoid the 'drowning tide', despite the many queries the narrator poses himself in doing such. It's a little duality I found interesting.

Another part which I enjoyed, although mostly for the image it gave me, is the verse,

"My halting steps abate in a descent."

I found it nice because I envisioned the narrator taking light steps within a dreamy like hall now falling apart, in shape, and form, as do memories, into an almost surreal scene where the hall kind of slopes downwards into oblivion. His halting steps essentially halting because they are no longer able to step foot on stable ground and on stable memories. It's just a fancy's image that came up!

I have two questions however, firstly being; Why is she illumed by a lobby light firstly (where they could have first met), and then by a candlelight?

Secondly, although this might just be me not understanding at all, Why does the silk slip past the narrator at the end, giving him a glance before surpassing him in the hall?

I think, overall, that I understood the poem as a trinket to the complications of everyone's past, but if this is not the case I apologize.

Also solid pentameter, although a bit loose at times, that gives the piece a very solemn tone!

P.S

Forgot to say,

Bravo!!

Last edited by Alessio Boni; 05-10-2025 at 12:43 PM.
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  #24  
Unread 05-10-2025, 07:03 PM
Alex Pepple Alex Pepple is offline
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Hello Alessio,

Thank you for your insightful reading of my poem! I'm pleased it resonated with you and grateful for your careful attention to its imagery and themes.

Your observation about the duality between silk's grandeur and the "squalid thought of revisiting past regrets" is perceptive. That tension between external elegance and internal turmoil is part of what I hoped to capture - the contrast between the polished social setting and the messier emotional landscape beneath.

I'm delighted by your reading of the "halting steps" line! Your interpretation of unstable ground representing unstable memories align well with the poem’s intention—the surreal, dissolving quality that evokes a memory-wall crumbling.

Regarding your questions:
  1. The shift from lobby light to candlelight represents a temporal shift - the lobby light illuminates her in the present chance encounter, while the candlelight refers to past moments when they knew each other. This is why I've actually revised the line to read "Then framed in candlelight's beguiling grace?" to better clarify this movement between time periods. And as an aside, talking of changes, I've also changed "allure" to "aura" in S2L3 to avoid the repeating sound with "lures" just two lines earlier.
         
  2. The silk at the end represents her physical presence, which also means the past, metaphorically - the "glimpse" is the momentary recognition, followed by her actual movement past the narrator in the hall
Your understanding of the poem as exploring "the complications of everyone's past" is on target. It's about chance encounters with people from our past and how they can trigger both reflection and a desire.

Thank you for your kind words about the meter and your enthusiastic "Bravo"! I appreciate your thoughtful engagement with the poem, Alessio!

Cheers,
...Alex

Last edited by Alex Pepple; 05-10-2025 at 07:07 PM.
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  #25  
Unread 05-12-2025, 01:34 PM
Alessio Boni Alessio Boni is offline
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Hi Alex,

I'm very happy to hear my perception of the metaphysical walls actually resonated with the creator of the piece.

Forgive me, but regarding the first answer, I'm kind of still confused on why a lobby light specifically? Because it's the light of the hall in which the narrator passes? The candlelight also suggests a more intimate experience with the woman in the past so that makes sense, thank you.

For the second answer, that makes perfect sense! Also, the fastness of her passing by as a 'slipping silk' (ykwim) matches the fleeting glimpses of memories very well.

The triggering of 'desire' is also a good match, now that I think about it, with the luxury of silk.

Thanks for the response, and cheers!

Alessio.

P.S

Sorry, now that I re - read the poem my question is kind of pointless because I just realized it is the mentioned light in which he sees the dame at the present, so I've got my response already.

Last edited by Alessio Boni; 05-12-2025 at 01:37 PM.
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  #26  
Unread Yesterday, 08:49 PM
Alex Pepple Alex Pepple is offline
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Hello, Alessio,

No need for apologies! Your questions show thoughtful engagement with the poem, which I greatly appreciate.

Yes, exactly as you realized in your postscript - the lobby light is simply the actual light in the present setting where the narrator encounters this person from his past. I chose "lobby light" specifically because lobbies often have that distinctive, slightly artificial illumination that can make people appear different than they might in natural light - adding to that sense of recognition and misrecognition that runs through the poem. Still, having said that, your question has prompted me to look deeper into matters of consistency for the poem. At the start we’re in a “lavish hall,” but later, it’s the “lobby light.” So, there’s some disconnect between “hall” and “lobby.” Hence to address this potential problem, it’s now “amber light.”

I'm glad the silk imagery worked for you as representing both the fleeting nature of memory and the element of desire/luxury. You've picked up on exactly the kind of multilayered meaning I was hoping to create.

Thank you again for your perceptive reading and thoughtful questions.

Cheers,
...Alex

Last edited by Alex Pepple; Yesterday at 09:13 PM.
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