[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Barbara—

I would agree with Richard that deleting the last line and ending with an incomplete line would pack more punch.

Glenn

[Barbara Baig]

Hi Richard and Glenn,
Thanks for your helpful comments. I see your point about the last line. I'll take it out of Revision 2 in the thread and see how the poem looks/sounds without it.

Richard, you ask a couple of tough questions, since this is an invented character and an invented situation, and I know nothing about refrigerators, so coming up with a sound effect is hard for me. As for whether he fixed it, as I said, it's all invention, so however you want to imagine that is fine.

Thanks, again.--Barbara

[Richard G]

Hi Barbara.

coming up with a sound effect
Perhaps swapping 'note' for something like 'clank' or 'gurgle' might serve? (Goes towards N's state of refrigerator ignorance.)

RG

[Barbara Baig]

Great idea, Richard. Thanks.