[John Riley]

Orphanage

I still don’t know how scientific it was
to burn white liquor in a glass ashtray
and hope it burnt blue and was safe
for the old guys to keep pouring half-glasses
into fomented muscadine juice.
I do know I watched the same men
drink almost every day and that sometimes
they were joined by Blondie.
Blondie had a little boy she’d named Clark
because she loved the Superman TV show.
One night she started crying because her Clark
would never be a superman, he would never even be able to count to five.
Clark spent most of his life in a home over in Thomasville
because he had to be carried everywhere he went.
He was getting too big for Blondie to pick up
so she asked old Doss to help.
I remember the old man’s red face
as he hefted Clark up and down the steps
and across the dirt stretch between the house
and the parked trucks and cars.
I realized later Clark was a down-syndrome child.
I had never heard of that. I only knew he was helpless
and a burden to everyone and that Blondie
was drooling as much as Clark the day
she put him in my arms and said,
“Here, you watch him for a while.”

[James Midgley]

Hi John,

I think this is very well handled -- the narrative seems to drift around absent-mindedly before delivering a kick that brings us to our senses at the end.

'Fomented' ought to be fermented, I think

Rather than ending L8 with an endstop, try out 'Blondie / who had a little boy'. Also try cutting 'she'd'.

'would never be a superman, he would never even be able to count to five' feels unwieldy all one line and I think you could lose 'he' in 'he would never be able'.

In one way, the lines from 'Clark spent most of his life' up to 'and the parked trucks and cars' aren't necessary. But the meander of the narrative softens the reader for the ending to strike. Still, you could play with condensing or cutting some lines and see how it feels.

As I say, I think this is pretty effective. Thanks for the read.

Edit: on another pass, I'd say keep the "she'd" in "she'd named" after all.