Jim, it's marvellous to see the progress of this poem! It really has evolved into a lovely thing, resolving many impressions and associations. I love how the rose of part two is pressed in Shakespeare's Complete Works. Very apt! I think Shakespeare mentions roses many times—and many times more than any other flower.
I think Part 1 could be tightened still. Just a little. Some sentences don't seem as alive as they could be, perhaps because of the passive verbs, and sometimes the syntax is awkward to my ear. For instance: "Today I found a single petal had dropped from the rose I had placed in a small cut-glass vase. I had not seen it fall." Feels like too many \"had"s to me. Maybe play with the tenses, and move the second part of the sentence to the start?
Oh, and a moment of confusion for me in Part 1: I thought the "it" in "I watched it for days and weeks" referred to the single petal. Took me a while to realise what was happening. Maybe "I watched THE ROSE for days and weeks".
I love the last line of the second haiku. It makes a lot of meaning for me.
Thank you, Jim!
Cally
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