If I may echo others, I commend the brave subject-matter of this. I think it is very well done. The double meaning of ‘line’ is excellent. For my part, I like the suggestion of ‘swore’ in the third verse; as it not only fits the pentameter better, but also avoids the issue of missing pronoun after ‘assured.’ A suggestion occurred, for the fourth verse, to further associate the cocaine with fire, as you do later in the stanza.
At first, I thought you’d left for good, a line
I’d never cross or chop again. Then eighths
my dealer swore would summon the divine
exploded my white-knuckled rehab, months
between my curse and cure. I thought my heart
would pound itself to wreckage on the coast
of uncut Colombia. I inhaled its heat,
saw beach fires bronze the skylines of the east.
I appreciate the striking contrast between stanzas, the first marked by ‘beach fires,’ the second by ‘thinning ice.’ Such imagery, I reckon, very effectively represents the polar extremes of experience that is hot relapse and cold rehab. Further, it seems appropriate that the promise of ‘the divine’ gives way to ‘invitations’ from ‘the overdoses’ to join their number, as the allurements of addiction are no better cured than by waking to the consequences.
Best,
Erik
Linear Mode
