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  #1  
Unread 09-16-2024, 11:20 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Default In Short

Shortlisted

I like short men. They don't gaze from on high
at you, as if you're far beneath their ken.
Equality is easier eye to eye.
.....I like short men.

They too know how hawks scrutinize a wren.
They hone their wits and humor (often wry),
and don't seek out a fight. Now and again,

I've met a few who tried to magnify
themselves by cutting others down. But then,
most have learned empathy, which may be why
.....I like short men.

Revisions:
S1L3 was "Equality's easier when eye to eye."

Last edited by Susan McLean; 09-17-2024 at 08:04 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 09-17-2024, 12:33 AM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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Hi, Susan!

I like the theme, as my 5'11" younger daughter seems to have landed herself a 5'4" keeper.

I have trouble turning the clichés "beyond their ken" and "beneath their notice" into "beneath their ken." I see the haughtiness and dismissal, but can't quite parse the exact literal meaning.

I also struggle with "They too know how hawks scrutinize a wren." I think "wren" has such strong feminine associations that for me there is an implied sexual predation in the metaphor that doesn't mesh tidily with the notion of short men's having experienced the same kind of gaze that short women might experience from tall(er) men. Although women and gay men can certainly be hawklike and predatory, too, I assume that on the receiving end of such attentions, the horror is somewhat different for people who can't get pregnant.

Since the ending returns (in a more telly way) to the topic of empathy, perhaps the hawk/wren illustration of empathy here can be replaced with something more related to the wittiness mentioned in the next line, like

As chiltepin outspices long cayenne,
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  #3  
Unread 09-17-2024, 08:16 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Hi, Julie,
Thanks for responding. I was limited by the range of rhymes for "men," or I might not have used "ken." But I use it to mean "knowledge or awareness." I thought it was preferable to avoid the more clichéd phrasing of "beyond their ken" while emphasizing the height disparity. The hawk/wren allusion was meant to suggest that short men have often experienced bullying when young, not specifically sexual predation. Something about shortness just signals "potential victim" to some people. With intelligence or humor, they often learn to talk their way out of danger. If they can't avoid being bullied, it often gives them some sympathy and understanding of what it is like to be bullied.

I was uncomfortable with the meter of S1L3, so I have rewritten it.

Susan
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Unread 09-17-2024, 09:19 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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I'm not that sure about the theme myself. If this were a funny poem, I could go with the concept, but a serious(ly unneeded) defense of short men somehow rubs the wrong way, in my opinion, with its implicit suggestion that short men need defending, and its further suggestion that short men generally share the listed virtues that are perhaps less common in men of taller stature. Ultimately, I suppose, the poem is a criticism of all men except the short ones, suggesting that taller men lack wit and humor, look for fights, cut others down, and lack empathy. The premise is ridiculous as a factual matter (i.e., not even slightly accurate or insightful), and at least mildly offensive. Stereotyping is stereotyping, whether it's by race and gender (which we all know is wrong) or some other physical characteristic that has nothing to do with character or personality.

This made me think of Randy Newman's "Short People" song, which is rather brilliant in my opinion (I'm six feet tall) but I've heard at least some short people are not as amused. It's successful, though, because it's so obviously meant as a humorous way of making fun of prejudice, not participating in prejudice. Your poem though, seems to be expressing sincere views without irony.

I agree with Julie about "ken" and "wren," both of which struck me as forced for the rhyme. But on the whole, the poem is well made even if I'm finding what it says to be offputting.
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  #5  
Unread 09-17-2024, 10:17 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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But, Roger, the poem doesn't make a general statement such as "Short men are nice." It makes a statement about a personal preference of the speaker, which tells you as much about the speaker as it does about men. And I did mean it to be rather funny, in that making such a statement is not something that one usually does, and the unexpected can come across as funny. There are reasons that the "gentle giant" is seen as unusual and that men with a "Napoleon complex" are, too. Our society is full of unspoken assumptions about height and its connection to personality. Why not examine those expectations to see why they arise?

Susan
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  #6  
Unread Today, 07:03 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is online now
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.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Susan McLean View Post
But, Roger, the poem doesn't make a general statement such as "Short men are nice." It makes a statement about a personal preference of the speaker, which tells you as much about the speaker as it does about men. And I did mean it to be rather funny, in that making such a statement is not something that one usually does, and the unexpected can come across as funny. There are reasons that the "gentle giant" is seen as unusual and that men with a "Napoleon complex" are, too. Our society is full of unspoken assumptions about height and its connection to personality. Why not examine those expectations to see why they arise?
I was all set to lambast this poem until I read your considered response to Roger. Now I could not agree more with your basic premise that "Our society is full of unspoken assumptions about height and its connection to personality." Now I'm thinking that this theme would make for a nice suite of poems.

I remember when Randy Newman's "Short People" song caused a furor. Your poem takes a decidedly different tact.

The song that always amazed me in that it never received the pushback/criticism it deserved was this one. And here are the lyrics. Misogyny dies hard.

But I like your poem. I didn't at first, but I do now. I admire your boldness. It is a signature of your poetry. I’ve never read a poem of yours posted here where you haven’t been able to impressively defend it.

.
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