[Jim Moonan]

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Just chiming in to lightly agree with the others who like the original — though I like watching you write, so even the revision has merit : )

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[Cally Conan-Davies]

James! Thank you! SO very much. I have to tell you an amazing coincidence that has just occurred in the last 24 hours. A little background: Hobart, my birthplace (I live south of the city now) was designated a UNESCO City of Literature last year. Late last week, I was invited by the City of Hobart to submit a poem to be considered for an anthology being put together to celebrate the City of Literature status. It's called Voices of the Southern Ocean. I was so undecided about what to send, then yesterday I read your comment. Mary pressed for the original, too, so when I read your comment, I thought -- that's it, I'll trust the poem. So I sent it off last night, and I've heard today they're taking it!!! HOORAY!!! So thank you sooo much for taking the time to comment. Your comments were a moment of resolve for me. And now it will be in a book about the place I love most in all the world!

And Jim, I read your chime just after the acceptance came through, so you have increased my happiness. And I love that you like watching me write. It feels so companionable! Thank you for chiming!!

My thanks to everyone for making me test the limits with this poem. I can't imagine it being in a better home now!!!

Cally

[mignon ledgard]

Dear Cally,

When you wrote about ‘conceal-reveal’ — about the albatross in ‘the wave’s hollow’— I thought of how holographic our existence is: now we’re here, now we’re not. “Anything can happen. Land is lost.”
It seems to me that this holographic nature may, in some way, be close or related to “the element of everywhere.” Even “The mind is altered by angels breaking reins in whelms of air,” then: “re-created in the wind-bent waves.”

“I have met the horses face to face” comes at closing as a survivor, after facing a huge wave and seeing that there was no way to beat it to the shore—therefore, one must get into that ‘hollow’ as it forms and hope to be precise in the timing. One way I see the ending line, “I have met the horses face to face”, a rather concrete way, while it’s the more ethereal quality that ‘foams up’ from your way with words and the vivid imagery. The moment when, not having entered the hollow, sometimes we are ‘rolled over’ and dragged (“Land is lost.”), more like kicked by the horses than lifted by the wave—that in the dizzy reappearance, having just survived that moment which, as lovers of the sea, we will continue to face, because we will, again and again, ‘dare’ the ocean. You mention the ocean being beautiful and its scary power, at once.

Then, “the horses”, the heralds..

Love, faith, trust, a proclamation and nature’s reciprocal offering where giving and receiving are one and the same. In short, perfection. The poet lays her awe and respect at the shore, her poem, a bouquet.

“The Hyppolyte Rocks” remind me of a totem after reading the poem.

That ‘the angels alter the mind’ — the angels change the outcome — we are out of the ferocious being rolled over and find ourselves at the shore in the horses’ midst, “face to face” and side-by-side.

The horses! Here they come! The mind is altered
by angels breaking reins in whelms of air . . . <<<

<<< Here, I see ellipses, or a dash, or a colon, instead of the comma.
Then, because I see the albatross as a projection of the N’s self:

re-created in the wind-bent waves
I have met the horses face to face.

A tiny punctuation tweak that makes the N the ‘re-created’ at the shore alongside the horses.

Your poems answer questions I never asked.

I hope my addition is a relevant parallel. Maybe, it’s just my little mind spinning.

I apologize for the delay, but I wanted you to know I was a gleeful partaker.
My comment is still a rough draft lacking sequence for clarity.
I am the turtle that can’t keep up with the hares in the workshop.

Sigh. Thanks!
Congratulations!!
~mignon

[Jim Moonan]

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Originally Posted by mignon ledgard

I am the turtle that can’t keep up with the hares in the workshop.

~mignon

I would be the butterfly... Or possibly the bee... Or maybe the hummingbird... Or all three : )

Mignon, I think you latched onto the poem beautifully. If I had the time I'd wax poetic about the things you said.

Cally, How good to know the wind took this poem and put it where it will happily live forever in the annals of the place you love.

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[Cally Conan-Davies]

Mignon and Jim, honestly, you two! You make me cry! Both of you are forms of angels. Not just because of the way you respond to my poems, but whenever you appear on any poem thread. You bring something special.

Mignon, what you give back to me is more than I could ever dream of. Every word of your commentary is awash with truth! What you say about the holographic nature of existence -- how good --- what a great image for it. And what you write about surviving -- is spot on. Literally, I've nearly died out there twice, seconds away from drowning; once by a big wave, once by being caught in a rip. Other times, tumbled and broken up a bit, but safe. What you learn is the forces in life are completely beyond our control, but you're not going to stop living! The greatest lesson of the ocean, for me, has been learning to respond to situations counter-intuitively. Go deeper under instead of up and out. Go further out instead of going to shore. I could go on, but you see what I mean? It's all metaphor. Go towards what you think is going to kill you. It might still kill me one day, physically, the sea. I know I take risks. But I love it. I feel more at home there than on land. I know somehow my soul will go on in the flow.

I love how you see the Rocks as totem, and the albatross as a projection of the self. Yes!

This statement: "Your poems answer questions I never asked." This is the best thing I could ever hope for as a writer. Ever. I regard it as the greatest compliment. It's the ultimate expression of what I'd want a reader to feel. I will write it down on a card and keep it on my writing table as a constant reminder of what we do this for.

And never worry about sequence etc. I get what you're saying. Always. I know where you're coming from. I'm so grateful you are here.

Jim, I agree! I could take off into another poem from what Mignon said! Ha! And whatever creatures you and Mignon are, I am so grateful for what you give to me.


Cally

[mignon ledgard]

To enlarge or shrink the image, go to 'view' and click on 'zoom in' or 'zoom out'

[mignon ledgard]

Thank you, Cally and Jim,

I posted an image of a painting of mine from way back.

I'll read your comments over and over again.

It's far better than waking up, as a child, to presents under the Christmas tree.

Maybe I'll have vvords later.

Sigh. A good sigh,
and gratitude,
~mignon

[James Brancheau]

Hey, thanks for sharing that, Cally. I’ve been dealing with some illness, but still trying to stay engaged with things here (and that gave me a charge). Just a lot slower getting around to posting/commenting on anything lately—and I’d been meaning to comment on your poem for the longest time. Maybe timing isn’t everything, but it does matter—glad I commented when I did. Anyway, big congratulations!