|
Notices |
It's been a while, Unregistered -- Welcome back to Eratosphere! |
|
|

03-07-2013, 07:09 AM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,499
|
|
In dreams, I gallop over empty plains,
A stallion, swift and free; and every day,
With willing mares I have my end away
(No bed-clothes, so no fear of tell-tale stains).
Unfettered, lusty, wild, no aches and pains
This springtime of my life, this month of May,
No duties, obligations, only play
(And sex, of course), whether it shines or rains.
But morning comes, and all exuberance leaves.
I’m old; at best, I'll see a few more suns.
The wheat for burger buns stands there in sheaves;
The mincer’s ready. Still, I hold my breath:
The butcher has a bad case of the runs -
It’s all that’s keeping me from certain death.
Last edited by Brian Allgar; 03-10-2013 at 05:44 AM.
Reason: changed 'hamburgers' to 'burger buns'; changed L10
|

03-07-2013, 07:38 AM
|
 |
Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
|
|
I was about to remark that the rhymes would encourage melancholy, but Brian has proved me wrong. I back that for a win.
|

03-07-2013, 12:38 PM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,719
|
|
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains,
But I intend to find out one fine day
Just how the rain can know to stay away
From mountains? Tell me why the rain abstains
From drenching beaches, why it takes such pains
To spare the hills from showers? Come what may,
Whatever game the Spanish raindrops play
Is different from the game of English rains.
If Spain has different raindrops, are its leaves
As well distinct? Its stars? Its moons? Its suns?
(My questions multiply to fill vast sheaves
And new ones venture forth with every breath!).
In fair Pamplona, where the great bull runs,
Is there no rain, just blood and sand and death?
|

03-07-2013, 12:52 PM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Monterey, CA USA
Posts: 2,376
|
|
John: I think I'll bet on Roger. Stakes?
|

03-07-2013, 12:56 PM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,499
|
|
Roger, I like it. But I wonder whether "abstains" will be accepted for "stains"?
|

03-07-2013, 01:07 PM
|
 |
Administrator
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 7,186
|
|
I'm sure it will.
So... that looks very much like two of the four prizes might well be spoken for: Brian and Roger. Nice ones, guys!
Jayne
|

03-07-2013, 02:47 PM
|
 |
Member
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
|
|
No it most certainly will not, I am afraid. They are different words. Similarly May must be the month (or the lady) and cannot be an auxiliary verb.
|

03-07-2013, 03:01 PM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,719
|
|
Well, I hope you are wrong. I ended the line on"stains" exactly as I was supposed to, without changing capitalization.
|

03-07-2013, 04:00 PM
|
 |
Administrator
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 7,186
|
|
In the past I've seen a bit of leeway attached to the use of words in the way Roger has done here, John. (I think it's quite cheeky to use 'abstains'  and I hope this fun entry doesn't get penalised for it.)
It would also be a bit mean not to allow 'may', rather than 'May' as stipulated, IMO. I find it hard to believe that Lucy would be such a stickler that she wouldn't accept a little poetic licence.
Jayne
|

03-07-2013, 04:14 PM
|
Member
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,499
|
|
Ah, but we're not dealing with Lucy here, Jayne (nudge, nudge).
The competition asks for "a poem of 14 lines, please, with these words as the rhymes". The fact is that "abstains" and "stains" are two completely different words. Otherwise, we could use "constrains" instead of "rains", "dismay" instead of "may", and so on. I hope for the best for Roger, but fear the worst.
Last edited by Brian Allgar; 03-07-2013 at 04:20 PM.
|
 |
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
 |
Member Login
Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,500
Total Threads: 22,592
Total Posts: 278,734
There are 1402 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum Sponsor:
|
 |
 |
|
 |
|