[Chris O'Carroll]

The next challenge. No 4213 Set by Leonora Casement: An oldie. We want an extract from a book of etiquette for the animal world. Back in the 1950s,
we got: “It’s always possible to offer apples to a lady” for a snake, and “Plaintive mewing is eschewed” for a cat. Max 120 words by 2 February
comp@newstatesman.co.uk

[John Whitworth]

That looks promising. I don't see why it shouldn't be in verse. I once possessed a Victorian book of etiquette given me by my granny. I remember I pronounced it etikwetee, which is a lovely word.

[Donna English]

I'll give it a try.

The Proper Pony

It is unacceptable and rude
to scrape a rider’s legs along a fence,
or bend your neck to bite a rider’s boot,
or spin, or bolt, or rear when you are cued
to trot or canter, though it’s fine to buck
if children yank the bit or drum your flanks;
you rightly need to educate the child.
The proper way’s to arch your back and tuck
your head between your legs and gently hop
until they fall. Trot off a ways and snort
as if surprised, then walk straight back to them.
This method is sometimes enough to stop
the rough and painful treatment that occurs,
through innocence by ignorance by those
children who were wrongly taught by one
who needs to feel the bite of bit and spurs.