[Michael Cantor]

I suspect I workshopped an earlier version of this during the Hoover administration. I'm trying to put together another book, and looking at some of my older, unpublished and rewritten work to see what works.

Googling the Dead

A girl I knew committed suicide
(or at least a woman with her name
and history), and I reflect that I

will never see the paperback Verlaine
she borrowed over sixty years ago –
the one she saw me swiping from the bin

at Eighth Street Books. No others now will know
of stolen Symbolists, or drunken tears,
or why she left my bed and just went home.
. . .

Last night I found some ancient news of Butch –
but not of dividends or corporate Boards,
instead a story with a different touch –

and laughed at how the gasbag must have felt
when blue lights sharply flashed, and Butch appraised
the badge the dark-haired, flirting hooker held:

her painted eyes contained a cop’s cold gaze.
Was he jammed in handcuffs for a judge’s
hearing, did he try to hide his face?

I’m sure he got all puffed-up, at his club
(we haven’t spoken since he fired me),
and blamed it on entrapment, or bad luck.
. . . .

At two and three AM I search for them –
old lovers, colleagues, classmates, neighbors, friends –
and most have disappeared, and others seem

to flicker and recede, but now and then
a life sprawls on the screen and, spot lit there,
illuminates our corners, and our ends.

And me? I wander through the disappeared
to seek more hidden souls – a furtive look
will sometimes do, repeated every year.
. . . .

They called us Butch and Sundance at the start,
and when I think back over all those years
it was because we brought a joyful art

to managing the business; taught our peers
it’s smarts and balls and diligence and drive –
not stone-dumb numbers guys and engineers –

that set the pace. Success defined our lives,
we dismissed the others with a half a glance,
and saw more of each other than our wives.

Then Butch became the President, and Sundance
stayed the Sundance Kid; and Butch got staid,
and Sundance played, and Butch said one dance

more would be the end of that charade,
and neither could recapture what was gone.
The stock price tanked, and Sundance got the gate.

So after all these years a closing shot.
it’s good that I can now remember Butch
as shopping for a blowjob from a cop.
. . . . .

It’s Google that now animates my life;
and with a name and some enlightened guesses
I resurrect the lost, bring back the nights

of laughter or relive the days of stress.
I wonder if they know I slink among
their lives, these shadows that I chase,

these traces of a past– perhaps they feel my touch,
my love or anger, know that someone minds –
and shrug, and stay whatever they’ve become.

And now, before I sleep, I’ll try to find
that fine-boned Swedish girl I met in Brussels,
who drove with me to Paris Christmas night.

Changes:

S17L3 was "I resurrect the past and lost, bring back the nights "

[Jan Iwaszkiewicz]

A delightful take on the Ubi Sunt Michael, however it is one that could be reduced for a better poetic effect. The ‘rambling’ is indeed how it would unfold from N’s lips, is that accuracy warranted here?

Jan

[Carl Copeland]

Thanks, Michael. I now have a name for something I’ve done often.

A few nits:

My tin ear heard only occasional rhymes until I noticed the terza rima. Even then, though, “boards/felt,” “judge’s/club” and “gone/shot” failed to ring my bell.

I scan two lines as tet and two as hex. It wouldn’t be hard to regularize them—by dropping “past and” from S17L3, for example (“past” is repeated a few lines later)—but it doesn’t concern me unless it does you. Three other lines are ambiguous: S1L2, S6L2 and S13L2 could either be headless or begin with an anapest. Since pent is default, I suspect the first two are headless and the third has an anapest.

I might quibble about punctuation in a few places, but that’s better left to your copyeditors. I’ll only suggest closing up “spotlit” and moving the comma in that line from after “screen” to after “and.”

“Flirting hooker” sounds a little like “handy repairman.”

The verb “mind” in the penultimate stanza struck me as a little off. You seem to mean “care,” and I’m sure you can find a dictionary entry to justify that, but I’m used to the negative, disapproving sense: Do you mind?

I never recommend radical cuts, because I feel unqualified, but I do find myself wishing there were less of Butch between the women in Manhattan and Brussels.

Brilliant concept for a poem, Michael. Wish I’d thought of it.

[Rick Mullin]

Hi Michael.

I think you need a period after "shopping for a blowjob from a cop"

This is delightful. Cantorian. I especially like how you end it. The final stanza is a thoughtful close, with the narrator's thoughts of himself wandering through the disappeared. And ending on the Swedish girl from Brussels is a nice touch.

I also like how you go back to Butch, providing background.

I can relate to your poems about the working world and former positions in it. But I have to use my imagination when it comes to Swedish girls from Brussels, sadly.

RM

[Michael Cantor]

Thanks, all, for the helpful feedback.

Jan - I don't know if it works or not, but I wanted this to be longish and rambling - an old guy, wandering through his past and trying not to drool on his posole. The original was twice as long, and I've already cut out an entire marriage and the New York art gallery scene in the Seventies (the problem I had was not describing those scenes, but in filling in the Googling interjections without repeating myself.)

Carl - Good point on S17, and will use it. S1 and S6 are headless - not only don't I have a problem with that, but - particularly in a longer poem - I think it helps to sometimes break up the ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM of iambic pentameter.

S13 is more of a question. I could "normalize" it by going to:

dismissing others with a half a glance
we saw.....

but somehow I think I prefer the original. Have to sleep on it.

I did close up "spotlit" originally, and my computer said I was a moron, and it should be separated. Go figure. I'll leave it to the editor. But I will change the comma in that line.

"flirty hooker" is a little less of a cllche, but the sonics aren't as good to my ear, so I'll stick with "flirting" for now. And I don't share your concerns with "mind".

Rick - thanks for the good words. Will add that period. The Swedish girl and the Christmas Eve drive to Paris were real (okay, I met her in Antwerp, not Brussels, but Brussels sounds better) - I was a schmuck engineer just out of the Bronx, and I got a love poem out of it - an eight stanza villanelle-on-steroids that was published years ago - and more recently I wrote a much longer free verse poem that envelopes the villanelle and tells the truth (maybe) about the weekend in Paris. I'll probably unleash it here soon.

[Carl Copeland]

Originally Posted by Michael Cantor

S1 and S6 are headless - not only don't I have a problem with that, but - particularly in a longer poem - I think it helps to sometimes break up the ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM of iambic pentameter.

The only problem with headlessness—Matt mentioned this recently—is metrical ambiguity when the first syllable of the line isn’t naturally stressed. I’d naturally read S1L2, for example, as tet with an initial anapest, and it’s only later, when I learn that pent is the base meter, that I can go back and re-scan the line as headless pent. Either way, though, varies the meter and reads well.

Originally Posted by Michael Cantor

I did close up "spotlit" originally, and my computer said I was a moron, and it should be separated.

Your spellchecker would be happier with “spotlighted,” but the dictionaries I’ve checked allow “spotlit” as well. As you say, though, leave it to the editor.

[David Callin]

Originally Posted by Carl Copeland

TBrilliant concept for a poem, Michael. Wish I’d thought of it.

I agree with Carl. And it gives you a great title.

Nicely executed, too. At first sight I thought it was going to be too long, but when I read it I realised that was only partly true. I like it all, except the second Butch section. Revenge may be a dish best eaten cold, but I'm not sure inviting others to the feast works here. I think the poem would work perfectly well - okay, better, even - without it. But you probably think you need it, and you're probably right.

I didn't even notice the terza rima until Carl mentioned, but I had already enjoyed the irregular (or so I thought!) rhyming.

One other nit: don't change Antwerp to Brussels. Nothing wrong with Antwerp (as you know) - different town, different language, different range of associations.

Overall, though, really good. Would like to read more of these.

Cheers

David