[Chris O'Carroll]

No 4249
Set by Harvey Cole
The “naked rambler” has been arrested and jailed many times. How would the following people explain to him why he must be clothed: an anthropologist, a small child, a philosopher, a psychiatrist, a policeman, a neighbour, a sex or social worker or a clergyman?
Max 150 words by 25 October comp@newstatesman.co.uk

[Ann Drysdale]

Who's Harvey Cole?

[John Whitworth]

Dunno.

Don't you know it's rather rude
Going shopping in the nude,
Showing off your naughty bits,
Sending aunties into fits.
Can't you hear your Mummy say,
'Put that nasty thing away.
No-one is at all impressed.
You look so much nicer dressed.'
People shouldn't leave their houses
If they don't put on their trousis.
No-one wants to see your willy.
You are very, very silly.

[Brian Allgar]

Who's the naked rambler? (Don't bother, I'll do a search on the Internet.)

Very amusing, John. But I have to warn you that in my experience, the NS (unlike the Spectator) doesn't accept verse when they specify 150 words. No doubt you will tell me that it's because lefties don't understand poetry.

[Brian Allgar]

For the benefit of anyone else who didn't know:

Stephen Gough (born c. 1959), also known as Steve Gough and the Naked Rambler, is an activist, and a British former Royal Marine.[1] In 2003-2004, he walked the length of Great Britain naked. He did it again in 2005-2006, but was arrested in England and in Scotland. He subsequently spent six years in prison, having been repeatedly rearrested for public nudity within a short period, each time he was released. He has spent most of his sentences in Saughton and Perth prisons, in Scotland, but as of early October 2012 is currently in HM Prison Kilmarnock awaiting release shortly.

[John Whitworth]

It's because lefties don't understand poetry.

[basil ransome-davies]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

It's because lefties don't understand poetry.

Quite right, John. I haven't got a bloody clue.

[John Whitworth]

For you and James Fenton, Bazza, I make an exception. Shelley wasn't bad either.

[Terese Coe]

Don't you know it's rather rude
Going shopping in the nude,
Showing off your naughty bits,
Sending aunties into fits.
Can't you hear your Mummy say,
'Put that nasty thing away.
No-one is at all impressed.
You look so much nicer dressed.'
People shouldn't leave their houses
If they don't put on their trousis.
No-one wants to see your willy.
You are very, very silly.

Love it, John! I take it this is the small child speaking.

[John Whitworth]

You've got it, Terese.