[Julie Steiner]

Dear Ermentrude, I thought we had agreed
to only purchase presents for the kiddies,
but thank you for the scarf. Just what I need!
And such a San Diego pattern--squiddies!

***

Dear Ethelred, we did declare détente
last year regarding presents, did we not?
You're sweet! You made me proud of having brought
nothing, with your gift no one could want!

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Getting Well, Soon

I thank you for the whiskey – every ounce -
But since the fatal crash I’ve stopped my drinking.
I really know that it’s the thought that counts,
But I can’t figure out what you were thinking!

Edited because I left a word out which buggered up the meter

[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited December 23, 2006).]

[Julie Steiner]

Thank you, Ann! If truth be told,
your basket was incredible!
[Twenty pounds of fruit so old
that none of it was edible!]

I love them! Thank you, Joe! I'll eat
them with great pleasure! [What's
he up to, writing "Sweets to the sweet"
across this can of nuts?]

[Roger Slater]

FORM THANK-YOU NOTE

Thank you for your [fill in gift].
I've always wanted one!
It gave my spirits quite a lift,
but when all's said and done

what filled my heart with greater cheer
was having you attend
my [fill in the occasion here],
my [loved one/colleague/friend].

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

I thank you for the sausage tray
though I'm a vegetarian
and the weights you bought me on E-Bay
and an octogenarian

And while these gifts were nice of you
I'd really like to ask you why
you haven't got the slightest clue
my name's not spelled G-E-R-I.

[Julie Steiner]

To my Boy Scout nephew, Randall--
Thank you for the four-hour candle
for emergencies! I know
that if the power grid should blow,
I'll have light! [Yup, I'll have plenty.
Just last month, you sold me twenty.]

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Dear boss:

Thank you for the Christmas card
a sign of workplace fellowship
- with words as polished as the Bard's,
upon a freshly minted pink slip.




[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited December 23, 2006).]

[Trish Sims]

The centipede writes:

It can’t be easy buying for the dorso-ventrally flattened,
so thank you most sincerely for the lovely woollen hat and
scarf. I must admit to peering rather fearfully at the box.
Last Christmas all I got was socks and socks and socks and socks.

[Roger Slater]

"Thanks for the gift. It didn't fit.
It had a hole and smelled like shit.
In lousy taste and poorly made,
a waste of every cent you paid,
unworthy of its box and wrap,
the ultimate in flimsy crap,
and yet I prize it like no other
gift I've gotten.
.....................[Love,
.........................[ Your Mother."

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Roger

You win. *grin*

Happy Holidays, all!