[Max Goodman]

THE EMPTY SCHOOLYARD

The barren flag clasp clanked against its pole,
[.............................]all else obscenely still,
and every door was locked!
[.....]I’d left work late and scrambled
to get the kids from school. Where were they hiding?
They must be playing round the back. But no,

the schoolyard was as vacant as the school,
[.............................]the peeling wall-ball wall
graffiti’d, blacktop cracked.
[.....]A wind-toppled trash can rumbled
across scuffed hopscotch crucifixes, fading,
and one swing’s rusty chain creaked to and fro.

[Alessio Boni]

Good!

The shift from the first stanza's indication of a non abandoned school to that of an abandoned one is very smooth, and almost subtle...Almost as subtle as if the reader himself were to feel the dementia (I don't know what else to call it) of the narrator upon realizing the academic space as no longer what it was.

The ultimate realization of the narrator (I think) also stands to prove my idealization of this poem in the scheme of someone rushing out from wherever they may reside (a nursing home or hospital) to feel the stress of a missed - frenzied responsibility they haven't had any more in a while. (That of picking up the kids) Only to realize they are so out of touch with the real, indicating not only the possibility of this being a dementia themed poem, but also of the character itself having had general ventures towards that area throughout their life; now no longer discernible, as are his memories.

Of course, this is just my interpretation, or rather, 'addition to the lore of what this poem could be.' This also stands to show the mastery of this poem in invoking such mental crafts.

The composition is also interesting, with the alternating shift of the Iambic pentameter and tri meter making the poem quite violent in tone, and giving it a 'jagged' ethos.

[Chelsea McClellan]

Hi Max,

This is a lovely, sonically pleasing description. But I was left wondering, (respectfully) why should I care? why should I care about this particular abandoned school? and why is it empty? And why and how is the speaker painfully unaware where his children are? Or why/how do the children disappear between presumably being dropped off for school in the morning, and by pick-up time?

With at least a few more questions answered, I think it could be an interesting poem.

Editing to add: I think Alessio's interpretation is an interesting one. I would submit, though, that your readers shouldn't have to guess QUITE as much as we do. Which is a problem that can frequently be remedied with an insightful title. That could be an option here.


Take care,
Chelsea