[Julie Steiner]

This translation is sort of a companion piece to my recent "Ballade Supreme for a Supergroup" on the Met Board, although the three kings are given very different personalities here than I gave them in my poem. The mosaic I describe there has Caspar, not Balthasar, labeled as the one bringing gold, but since that detail didn't make it into the poem, it doesn't matter.


VERSE TRANSLATION — DRAFT TWO

The Three Wise Kings
Rubén Darío (Nicaragua, 1867 – 1916)

“I’m Caspar. Here, I’m bringing frankincense.
I come to say: Life’s pure — its beauties, fine.
God exists. Love’s magnitude’s immense.
All this I know because the Star’s divine!”

“I’m Melchior. My myrrh is all-perfuming.
God exists. The light of day is He.
The lily keeps its feet in mud while blooming
white. And in delight, some gloom must be!”

“I’m Balthasar. I’m bringing gold. Be sure
that God exists. It’s He, with strength and depth.
All this I know because that light-orb’s pure,
while shining in the diadem of Death.”

“Hark! Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar,
love bids you join its triumph over strife.
From chaos, Christ’s creating light once more!
He comes again — and bears the crown of Life!”


VERSE TRANSLATION — DRAFT ONE VARIANTS

In S1L2, Darío uses the same "Life's pure and beautiful" phrase as in his famous sonnet "Pegaso" ("Pegasus") so I felt obliged to keep that wording as intact as possible. But I had to tack on "and fine" here for the rhyme in English. Curious to know what people think of that decision. (Carl and Rogerbob weighed in on this, leading to the Draft Two variant above. Draft one had:

S1 was:
“I’m Caspar. Here I come with frankincense,
to say: Life’s pure and beautiful and fine.
God exists. Love’s vastness is immense.
All this I know because that Star’s divine!”

S4L1 was:
“Hush! Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar,


SPANISH ORIGINAL

Los tres reyes magos
Rubén Darío (Nicaragua, 1867 – 1916)

-Yo soy Gaspar. Aquí traigo el incienso.
Vengo a decir: La vida es pura y bella.
Existe Dios. El amor es inmenso.
¡Todo lo sé por la divina Estrella!

-Yo soy Melchor. Mi mirra aroma todo.
Existe Dios. Él es la luz del día.
La blanca flor tiene sus pies en lodo.
¡Y en el placer hay la melancolía!

-Soy Baltasar. Traigo el oro. Aseguro
que existe Dios. Él es el grande y fuerte.
Todo lo sé por el lucero puro
que brilla en la diadema de la Muerte.

-Gaspar, Melchor y Baltasar, callaos.
Triunfa el amor y a su fiesta os convida.
¡Cristo resurge, hace la luz del caos
y tiene la corona de la Vida!


LITERAL ENGLISH PROSE CRIB

The Three Wise Kings
Rubén Darío (Nicaragua, 1867 – 1916)

“I’m Caspar. Here I bring frankincense.
I come to say: life is pure and beautiful.
God exists. Love is immense.
I know all this by the divine Star!”

“I’m Melchior. My myrrh perfumes everything.
God exists. He is the light of day.
The white flower keeps its feet in mud.
And in pleasure/joy there is melancholy!”

“I’m Balthasar. I bring gold. I guarantee/swear
that God exists. He is the great and strong one.
I know all this by the pure star
that shines in the diadem of Death.”

“Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar, hush yourselves.
Love triumphs and to its party it invites you.
Christ resurges/reappears/resurrects, he makes light from chaos,
and he has/possesses the crown of Life!”

[Carl Copeland]

Nice, Julie. I love poems that dialogue with one another. A few thoughts:

S1L2: “And fine” does sound tacked on and trivial after “pure and beautiful,” but I can’t think of anything better.

S1L3: How about something a little less redundant, e.g., “love’s compass.”

S1L4: “That” doesn’t do anything other than point unnecessarily, so I’d prefer the original “the.”

I like the internal rhymes in S2: blooming/gloom and white/delight.

Why are the kings shushed? The S4 speaker doesn’t seem to object to anything they’ve been saying. Just yacking too much, I guess. Reminds me a little of Kaspar’s silliness in “Amahl and Night Visitors.”

[Roger Slater]

I'd not be concerned about exactly echoing the phrase exactly how it's often translated in Pegaso. Most readers of the translation are likely not even familiar with Pegaso, and those that are familiar with it in English are not going to expect every translator to translate the same phrase the same way. Since "fine" is close enough in meaning to "pure", why not redo the line something like: "to tell you: life is beautiful and fine"?

[Julie Steiner]

Thanks very much, Carl and Rogerbob. Draft Two with S1 and S4L1 tweaks posted above.

In an earlier draft I went straight to "Life's beautiful and fine," but a few other factors brought me back to "pure." First, since Darío repeats "pure" later in the same poem, it seems as if it's important and shouldn't be downplayed too much. Second, the gift of frankincense is regarded as a link to sanctity, etc. So life's purity is mentioned more to connote holiness than to connote material purity or fineness/finery.

Carl, I like "Love's compass," but I couldn't help worrying that it would lead readers to picture an actual navigational aid for these famous travelers. "Love's magnitude's immense" has the awkwardness of two apostrophes in a row, but I like the fact that "magnitude" is a star-related term.

I've changed "Hush" to "Hark." Frankly, I think Darío was going for a rhyme with "caos" (chaos), and "callaos" (hush yourselves) presented itself. It's not exactly "shut up," being in the formal second-person plural little-used in Latin America, but I think "Hark!" accomplishes the same general idea of "Be quiet now and listen up!"

I don't know why, since Darío has capitalized Star, Death, and Life, and since (due to the usual sentence-beginning conventions) Love is capitalized in S1, he hasn't capitalized it in S4, where it is particularly anthropomorphized. So I might take the liberty of capitalizing it there.

Thanks again, Carl and Rogerbob.

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Julie—

I’m not very familiar with Darío’s poems, but I was mildly surprised to see that he wrote an explicitly Christian poem. I had thought that he had avoided Christian themes.

I like your treatment of the poem, but felt that the inversions in S2 (the Melchior stanza) sounded a bit Yoda-esque. How about something like:
     I’m Melchior. My myrrh is all-perfuming.
      God exists. He is the light of day.
      White lilies keep their feet in mud while blooming,
     and in delight some gloom must make its way.

Glenn

[Roger Slater]

Just some sketchy thoughts poorly expressed, but I was in a hurry:

Originally Posted by Julie Steiner

VERSE TRANSLATION — DRAFT TWO

The Three Wise Kings
Rubén Darío (Nicaragua, 1867 – 1916)

“I’m Caspar. Here, I’m bringing frankincense.
I come to say: Life’s pure — its beauties, fine.
God exists. Love’s magnitude’s immense.
All this I know because the Star’s divine!”

I'm Caspar, and I've brought you frankinsense.
I've come to say: life's beautiful and pure.
There is a God, and God's love is immense.
The Holy Star confirms this truth for sure.

“I’m Melchior. My myrrh is all-perfuming.
God exists. The light of day is He.
The lily keeps its feet in mud while blooming[.]
white. And in delight, some gloom must be!” This line, especially in the Spanish, reminds me of Keats's "in the very temple of delight, veiled melancholy has her sovereign shrine". I wonder if Dario had read Keats? ...

“I’m Balthasar. I’m bringing gold. Be sure This sounds like advice to someone that they should make sure it's true. In fact, he is assuring us that it's true, not telling us to find out if it's true.
that God exists. It’s He, with strength and depth.
All this I know because that light-orb’s pure, Maybe just "because the light is pure"?
while shining in the diadem of Death.”

“Hark! Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar, I'd stick with "hush" or some equivalent. I don't think you can dispense with it just because you suspect Dario was just trying to set up a fancy rhyme.
love bids you join its triumph over strife. You've added "over strife", which is okay if necessary, but still strikes me as an intrusion.
From chaos, Christ’s creating light once more!
He comes again — and bears the crown of Life!”