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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Riley
This set reminds me of my heart probe. The little wires ran up from the thigh into your heart? Maybe not but I’m aware of procedures and these deal with them well.
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Even for those of us who haven't been intruded upon to this extent (just a quick probe here, a snake camera there), it still serves me well. In that regard the poem is instructive : )
The opening two lines made me smile. It has a slightly tongue-in-cheek macabre feeling in it.
I like the use of parens to convey the shield against the light.
As I said above, I'm not familiar with the exact procedure that was performed — did they put you under? I'm wondering because of the Lazarus reference.
I agree with Andrew about a full stop after L2.
If I'm being hyper-critical I'd say that there is an oddness to the final two lines that I don't know you intended. One would think that after a procedure such as this the two of you would head home, not into town — unless they are one and the same. Or maybe you intend to say exactly what it seems to imply: you both have a busy schedule and a minor detour like a medical procedure is not going to stop the
joie de vivre that the two of you give each other. I like that.
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