Mignon, Ralph and John,
Many thanks for reading and commenting. I don't write much (prose) fiction. I'm very pleased you all enjoyed it.
Mignon,
I look forward to your return.
Ralph,
Immigration is a take I wasn't thinking of when I wrote this. But now you mention it, yes. That works too, which is a bonus.
John,
I've taken your advice and tightened it a little more. No doubt it'd still benefit another go-through at some point. I've taken two of your suggestions and found a couple more spots where I could lose a word. I've kept "that served as their shelter" for now, since it seems to me that the cave could serve another function. Maybe a more ritual one, for example. But I'll keep the suggestion, and may well at some point decide it's better to cut that part.
I've wondered a little if I need the first sentence of the 4th para. Maybe it's better just to state, "I stayed with them" and leave the reader to speculate as to reasons? Keeping it for now, but I'm not sure.
Thanks again all,
Matt
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