Don't apologise - that's fine - I hadn't read that strand in the poem so much, so actually, for me, it saves me from the burning question; 'does this need an image at all', because clearly it does if you want to bring out that story for this reader at least ( I read it very much from the sense of a painter who 'couldn't get it right' so kept adding things to the picture, until the central figure disappeared in the clutter.)
I'll have another look tomorrow, but to be honest, I think the image you've chosen is a spot-on illustration for the image. It works with, without being overwhelming. If this was/is a 'real' project (I hope it is, I think there's a market for illustrated poetry) would you want them all to be Hopper?
Wildcard, and it's Friday night, but how about a Rothko for the first one?
https://d2jv9003bew7ag.cloudfront.ne...othko-No-2.jpg
Sarah-Jane