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Unread 02-25-2022, 10:32 PM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 7,669
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Beautiful.

I think the repetition of "things" is important in this bit, since the poem places such emphasis on materiality:

     So liegen sie mit Dingen angefüllt,
     kostbaren Dingen, Steinen, Spielzeug, Hausrat,

Your crib has:

     So they lie, filled up with things,
     precious things, stones, playthings, household goods,

Your verse translation has:

     So they lie—filled to the brim with things,
     precious objects, gemstones, playthings, housewares,

Changing the order might help to emphasize the thing-ness without having "things" so many times:

     So they lie—filled to the brim with things,
     playthings, precious objects, gemstones, housewares,
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