Thread: Kissing season
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Unread 02-04-2024, 10:51 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
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David, I love the smell of gorse. The only stanza I think seems expendable is S3, because "tropical climes" feels so general. Could you pick a specific place instead, or make it come alive with detail? The power of scent over our emotions is so often underestimated. I like the way you go right from a smell into kissing. Perhaps "The gorse is in bloom [or blooming]" would be more immediately understandable than "The gorse is out." Did you intend a full stop at the end of S5?

Susan
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