Thread: Thirteen
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  #10  
Unread 10-24-2016, 05:33 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
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For me this is mainly effective. Things fall apart--and so do people if they are victims of drunken sexual predators. The reminder that the boys are only thirteen says volumes about the sexual curiosity/uneasiness of Jake and the devastating effect the woman has on him. I'm guessing that the "tights" are some kind of yoga pants that fit as tightly as tights. The tightly rhymed octave gives way to an exploded sestet with rhymes that no longer rhyme, which I thought was an effective way to mirror Jake's shaking hands. I do think that the meter gets a bit ambiguous in L10, but the colloquial voice allows a certain leeway in the meter.

Susan
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