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Unread 04-05-2024, 01:05 PM
Glenn Wright Glenn Wright is online now
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Join Date: Mar 2024
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 164
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I like everything about this poem. The scene of the auction is clearly delineated, and the mock-heroic references to casting lots for Christ’s garments and Greek mythology add to the tone of gentle self-mockery. I didn’t catch the reference to Pound’s “In a Station of the Metro” until Susan pointed it out. You even managed to slip your name into the next-to-last line.
I see Susan’s point about the last word of each sher being the same. Usually it’s the syllable[s] immediately before the last word that rhyme in a classic ghazal. I don’t have a problem with your variation, other than the repetition of “going.” I like it at the beginning and end, but in S4L2, could you replace “in going” with something like “not showing?” This would also set up the evils hidden in Pandora’s box in the next sher.
Glenn
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