Thread: Blades
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Unread 04-25-2025, 10:05 AM
Yves S L Yves S L is offline
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Hello Susan,

I really don't think all this dark psycho-drama territory displays your skills in the best light.

To be more specific to the poem in front of me, I feel that you are spinning this conceit out for far too long, which highlights a significant problem to me: the transitions within the conceit feel forced.

Going from razor blades to time scythe to the cutting of emotional connections/memories all feels a bit arbitrary.

I don't think you even need the concept of a cutting edge to go from childhood memories, to losses while growing up, to the resultant emotional damage that adults face after losses.

Yeah, it is all very familiar poetic territory, but you could probably make it work, without making so explicitly a "look at this conceit " poem.

Yeah!
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