I wholeheartedly agree with Richard’s suggestion above.
If this were mine, I’d also be tempted to get rid of the first line (“A good world…”), but then you have “In such a world,” so (probably) never mind. I do really like about all of that particular stanza, especially “dinner’s gore” and “regarding flatly.”
Because of the thread title, “the hurt he’s done,” and that you mention one hand, I might suggest titling the poem The Other Hand.
Last edited by James Brancheau; 04-23-2025 at 03:13 PM.
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