[Glenn Wright]

Hi, David—

Thanks for weighing in. Your comment was very useful in sending me back to the last stanza. Richard and Max both pointed out the metrical problems as well as what they saw as a logical change in direction.

As far as the meter, I was able to move the stress from “IN sult” (noun) to “in SULT” (verb).

As to the logic, I wanted the N to focus not only on the game, but more generally on the entire scene, including parent spectators, as a drama. I also wanted the reader to appreciate the irony of an activity designed to teach sportsmanship in which the older players teach the younger ones methods of cheating (S2L3-4), and parents model poor sportsmanship (S6-8). It serves as a microcosm for the honorable principles we teach our children and the less honorable behaviors we model for them. The word “impossible” seemed rather overstated after I read your comment, so I toned it down to “more challenging.” I think this underscores the “child is father of the man” theme.

I appreciate your helpful critique.

Glenn