20. Glosa DRAFT THREE
from
Circumlocutions: A Primer
‘We will lay this thing here’
Thus spake the voice of the sea,
Murmuring wearily—
In the rock’s ear—
— Rudyard Kipling’s
“Rejection”, first stanza
Off-kilter, this odd composition.
Kipling’s, you say?
It counters cognition
to think such a tub-thump musician
noodled with meter this way.
Anapestic? Syllabic, at times?
The scansion’s unclear.
Both margins career.
Irregular pulses. Wrenched rhymes.
‘We will lay this thing here,’
the tidal vicissitudes shrug,
their listless resistance
refusing to lug
what a shove against gravity’s tug
can abandon. And yet there’s persistence
within this passivity, too.
It wills itself free,
determined to be
unburdened of what it can spew.
Thus spake the voice of the sea.
Shape-shifters, these cadences show
the moon-manic force
as lines ebb and flow.
The sea’s letting everything go:
this thing that it wants to divorce,
poetic convention,
attention to naysayers. (Three
say no with esprit,
but the matter’s not up for contention.)
Murmuring wearily
becomes, by the end of the song,
Ever persistently. Yes,
as obsessions prolong,
revulsions grow strong.
So dictate, Subconscious: express
what
silent deeps hide.
We will lay this thing here.
By setting it down, we can clear
that corruption-plagued tide
In the rock’s ear.
20. Glosa DRAFT TWO, plus new S3L1 and new S4
from
Circumlocutions: A Primer
‘We will lay this thing here’
Thus spake the voice of the sea,
Murmuring wearily —
In the rock’s ear —
— Rudyard Kipling’s
“Rejection”, first stanza
Off-kilter, this odd composition.
Kipling’s, you say?
It counters cognition
to think such a tub-thump musician
noodled with meter this way.
Anapestic? Syllabic, at times?
The scansion's unclear.
Both margins career.
Irregular pulses. Wrenched rhymes.
‘We will lay this thing here,’
the tidal vicissitudes shrug,
their listless resistance
refusing to lug
what a shove against gravity’s tug
can abandon. And yet there's persistence
within this passivity, too.
It wills itself free,
determined to be
unburdened of what it can spew.
Thus spake the voice of the sea.
Seismographed scribble-lengths show
the moon-manic force
as the lines ebb and flow.
The sea’s letting everything go:
this thing that it wants to divorce,
poetic convention,
attention to naysayers. (Three
speak up with esprit,
but the matter’s not up for contention.)
Murmuring wearily
becomes, by the end of the song,
Ever persistently. Yes,
as obsessions prolong,
revulsions grow strong.
So dictate, Subconscious: express
what
silent deeps hide.
We will lay this thing here.
By setting it down, we can clear
the corpse-churning tide
In the rock’s ear.
In Draft One, S1 was:
Off-kilter, this odd composition.
And it’s Kipling’s, you say?
How counter-cognition!
To think such a tub-thump musician
noodled with meter this way!
(Anapestic? Syllabic at times?
Double iambs? Oh, dear.)
Both margins career
down irregular pulses and chimes.
‘We will lay this thing here,’
In Draft One, S2L1 and S2LL5-6 were:
their passive resistance
...
can abandon. But note the persistence
within that passivity, too.
In Draft One, S3 was:
Unpredictable cadences show
the moon-manic force
of each ebb and flow.
The sea’s letting everything go:
the
thing that it wants to divorce;
poetic convention;
and attention to critics — when three
speak up with esprit,
the matter’s not up for contention.
Murmuring wearily
Later, S3L1 was:
These shore-sketching cadences show
This seismograph's scribble-lengths show
In Draft One, S4 was:
becomes, by the end of the song,
Ever persistently. Yes,
as obsessions prolong,
the psyche’s recycling’s more strong.
All right then, subconscious: express
what
silent deeps hide.
We will lay this thing here.
By setting it down, we can clear
the corpse-churning tide
In the rock’s ear.
Later, S4LL3-5 were:
when obsessions prolong,
what the psyche keeps cycling grows strong.
So dictate, Subconscious: express