[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Richard,

Thanks for the input. Looks like this won't get much traction on the sphere. I achieved a certain infamy for dog poems, at least for my dog poems, here in the past.

Originally Posted by Richard G

Hi Jim,
lots of fun (dark mid-winter/lands of hinter, fantastic with its almost echo of Rossetti) though I think it ran away from you in places (heed of need of dress!)

I am ashamed I haven't Googled Rossetti yet but I will. Seems like lately I am letting everything run away from me in places, goes with aging I think...

S1 seems a little flat, do you really need it? Similarly S3 isn't making much of a contribution to the narrative. (Reads a bit like a plea for sympathy where none is needed.) If you did decide to cut these, perhaps then look at starting the 'Babel's hydrant' verse with She (She pulls me cross the street to ... ?)

Glenn agreed on S1's lack of punch and it's gone. As to S3, I feel I need a couple particulars of her story. The "rescue" adjective is getting attached to any animal given up by its original family these days. My experience is that dogs will always miss those they loved, but can adapt to new surroundings and new love fairly easily. The physical abuse is another matter. This one also had untreated heart worm and scars from fights including a split in her tongue. She has thirty seven shotgun pellets embedded in her as confirmed by X-rays.

I struggle with S4/L4, and S5 hydrant/silenced gives one pause, as does S6 leash's end.

S7, got lost on her tale cannot.

I've made a couple changes based on this input, though I am not figuring out where leash's end causes a problem...


RG.

Thanks again,

Jim