[Julie Steiner]

Never mind about the substitution suggestion. The original doesn't have any substitutions at all in the hexameter lines—and only three in the pentameter lines:

- u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - -
Πρόκριτός | ἐστι, Φίλ|ιννα, τε|ὴ ῥυτὶς | ἢ ὀπὸς | ἥβης
     - - | - - - || - u u | - u u -
     πάσης· | ἱμείρω δ᾽ || ἀμφὶς ἔ|χειν παλάμαις
- u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - -
μᾶλλον ἐ|γὼ σέο | μῆλα καρ|ηβαρέ|οντα κορ|ύμβοις
     - - | - u u - || - u u | - u u -
     ἢ μα|ζὸν νεαρῆς || ὄρθιον | ἡλικίης.
- u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - u u | - -
σὸν γὰρ ἔ|τι φθινόπ|ωρον ὑπ|έρτερον | εἴαρος | ἄλλης,
     - u u | - u u - || - u u | - u u -
     χεῖμα σὸν | ἀλλοτρίου ||θερμότερον θέρεος.

Some people—mostly women—don't like the unflattering depictions in Rodgers and Hart's "My Funny Valentine" (which was about a man, not a woman, BTW, in the original context), John Frederick Nims's "Love Poem," and even Shakespeare's Sonnet 130.

But some people are humorless narcissists, insecure about their flaws and paranoid about putdowns.