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FOUR 100 WORD THOUGHTS
If I Only Had One Hundred Words
If I only had one hundred words left to say what I wanted to say, I wouldn’t know what to say. I may, in fact, have already said it before and it is not possible to say it again. Something that occurred to me some time ago that I wrote down and has since washed downstream, absorbed into the wake of words I’ve written ever since that day when I picked up a fountain pen and fell in love with the velvety smooth way the ink glided on the page. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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I Listen to Myself Alone
I have stopped listening to others. I am now listening to something else; something that quietly insists I listen. To be fair, I have not completely stopped listening to others. I’ve only just now learned how to hear what others say while still paying closest attention to my own voice, which is the only voice I have. I have stopped it mid-thought so often that it is wounded. I must repair it. I must devote myself to it. I now know that voice to be the only voice that listens back and speaks when everyone else has left. I’m alone.
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These Are Just Thoughts
These are just thoughts. They come and go. Though some come back. I find them here waiting for me. They are my children and I like to play with them. I am not a good parent to them, though. I neglect them even though I love them. I put them down here and walk away when they begin to ask questions or become unruly. I think they speak for themselves when they need me to speak for them.
I was once one of them, I think to myself. Who were my parents? Why did they leave me here? Why? Why?
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Some Questions for Myself & for You, Too
Do I mean what I say? Do I think I know? Do I speak too much about nothing? When will the day come? Am I only here to live and die? Have I made a difference? Am I being measured? Can I become better at loving you? Does it hurt? Can I do something more, anything, to win your love forever? Is that a question I even want answered? Are my questions necessary? Can I be freed from doubt? Will I suffer? How far am I from where I am going? Will I get there? Can you come, too? Yes?
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(With gratitude to John Riley)
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