Tony, thanks for all your thoughts. I appreciate your nuance analysis of the “o.” I like your take and it’s just what I’d hope for.
So it sounds like you did grasp what I was driving at in a deeper level throughout the poem; it just hasn’t been brought to a high buff. It also sounds as though to achieve that, I might really need to change more than the second half of the last line. Would you agree that as a tweak, this doesn’t cut it?
of spring. And only one thing stays the same:
round every pull of whim, round every claim
of weather—matter's unrelenting frame!
It seems that my peculiar task is to try to better bring out the depths you identify without introducing a discordantly cerebral tone to the whole poem. Any ideas, please let me know. Otherwise, I may have to put this on the “long ponder” shelf.
I feel so fortunate to have a poet on here who has been exploring various issues parallel to those that I have (a key difference being that I don’t have the formal philosophical background that you do).
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