Hi Glenn,
I am arriving late at the scene of the poem (which is my wont, more often that not). What a gratifying set of replies you've got here. I have read - or glanced through - them all, but I will just leapfrog over them and let you know my own thoughts on the poem.
Which I like, with (of course) quibbles ...
The first four lines run along very nicely, but L4 does sound, with that word order, like a literal translation from a French original.
I think lines 7-8 are too (as they say) telly. You could lose those and introduce two that build the picture more subtly - or at least limit the self-revealing soliloquy to L8.
I like the use of "tomorrow / and tomorrow and tomorrow".
Ans finally - this is a rather fanciful thought - are you tempted to replace "I never let them know me" with "They don't know me"? It gives you a bit more leeway in that line (not to mention summoning up the never unwelcome ghost of Ray Charles).
Overall, though, it's very nicely done.
Cheers
David
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