Jim,
It’s alright to go back and forth with the revision of your poems. It’s commendable. Sometimes, it’s also a good idea to distance yourself before you come back to it. I see you vanished your other versions and I can only hope you did not send them to the bin. Because it is still the same poem, I am not able to comment on it without glancing at the previous versions. But I understand no more comments may be needed if you are satisfied with your last post as the final version.
Special thanks for the kind way in which you referred to me and for how you hear the voice in my writing. Also, thank you for allowing me to enter your poems and making it easy for me to do as I do.
A little story that I think is relevant:
I paint mostly by erasure.
Best wishes and good luck with your poem,
~mignon
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