Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Dyes
John:
This poem (as I think many of yours do) utilize an uncanny technique of circular breathing.
It both inhales and exhales in a single long tone descending through levels of self-deception and lies.
I feel the great breath of air quietly taken in at the beginning and yet more air taken in at "whispering they're grateful".
And then words are delivered in succesive rushes as their eyes move to the floor, beneath the floor to the cellar and then beneath the cellar.
Then small breaths are slyly taken in to deliver the "still alive searching fish", the "narrow river below the cellar floor" and listing what are in those "boxes of things".
And that same breath is finally expended as we are lost utterly beneath a false sky with counterfeit stars.
A devastating effect.
Bill
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Wow Bill — I actually see exactly what you're saying. I hadn't given the poem more than a quick read last night and, before reading it again today, I read your comment. It dramatically enlightened my reading. Either I need to up my game at reading a poem with all the doors of possibility wide open or I will have to rely on others like you to be my eyes — Ha!
So much of everything — not only poetry — depends upon the moment in time that it is experienced. That's why it's important to come back to a poem at least a few times to give it a chance to open for you. Too many times I place an inordinate amount of importance on first impressions when reading poetry. A good poem has so much more to offer than a "first impression".
John, I'll come back in a bit when I've more time.
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