Hi all,
My apologies for the delayed response! Thank you for all your comments. I thought I'd address the question of why I don't want to publish this one first. To my knowledge, there's no rule explicitly prohibiting me from publishing poetry that mentions the government. But I try to draw a line between my creative writing and my day job to avoid any suggestion that I'm misrepresenting my employer. That's why I've only shared this one with this private group and the small group of people who will read my MFA application.
My background is in ecology, with some fire work sprinkled in. The goal with this one, loosely, was to show the restorative power of fire. (James, you were right on the money.) I think John and James are right that "gentleman" isn't quite the right word. I'm definitely not going to villainize this fire, but a gentleman implies a lack of flexibility and feels a bit colonialist in retrospect. My first thought was to change "gentleman" to "kind old wizard/out for a stroll," but a Gandalf reference probably wouldn't be the right choice for this particular poem. I like James' suggestion of an animal or gardener.
Julie, I like your idea of italicizing our. And maybe adding some other clarifying details. The memory is so clear inside my own head that it's good to see where the picture gets muddy from an outside perspective.
Thanks again! Hope you're all having a lovely week.
Ella
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